Open Your Eyes

Everything is silent. I am home alone, but that's not unusual. The house is empty, except for me...

And the man.

I don't know his name; I never thought to ask. But he haunts me. He hides around corners and in the dark places my mind creates. He smiles almost constantly. I say almost only because sometimes I can't see him.

Those times are more frightening then when I can. It means that he can be anywhere. 

Now, I'm sitting on the bathroom counter, because my bedroom is too big. There are too many places for him to hide. My bathroom is small, and you can see all of it from anywhere IN it. 

I lean against the mirror, taking deep breaths. "He's not real," I say. "He's just in your head. You are home alone. There is no one here but you."

I close my eyes. behind my eyelids, the image of my bathroom is still burned. I stare at it as it slowly fades away. I bring it back again. I don't want to be in darkness. 

I don't want to be blind.

Suddenly i see the man there. His usual white hair hangs down into his young face slightly, and grey eyes stare back into mine. He's smiling, like always, which reveals his white, sharp teeth. He fixes his black tie on his black suit. He looks very nice, for someone in my head.

I want to hide from him. Something about the way he stares at me hungrily makes a shiver run down my spine, and my heart race with adrenaline. 

Oddly enough, though, I won't open my eyes. It reminds me of all of those horror movies, where there's nothing but black, and then the eyes open to the monster, moments before they die a horrible death.

But I'm not afraid of death. I never have been. It's just a quick moment of pain and then nothing. or the afterlife, but I'm not too worried about that. At least then I won't have to worry about the man, or cruel people at school, or even more cruel people at home. At least then I'll have either angels or demons protecting me from the horrors I find on all sides almost every day. 

The man is still staring at me, waiting for my decision; to either stay like this forever (at least until my family gets home), or to open my eyes and admit that he's not real, and just go to bed.

I consider. Even if my family aren't always the most understanding, or kind, I always feel safer when they are at least in the house. Plus, they will be home in maybe an hour. I wonder what time it is. Probably so late it's early.

Then there was always the option of never opening my eyes again. Going to the afterlife, or into the ground, wouldn't be so bad. Just one slice with a knife...

But that would brake my parents' hearts. My siblings, not so much. They'd be sad for a little while, yes, but after a bit they'd have forgotten about me. But my parents might kill themselves, too, and I can't have that. 

So the only option left is to open my eyes. Something inside screams at me to choose something else, but I shake my head. 

What if the man is real, and he hurts you before killing you when you open your eyes? I think. What if you can't  stop him? And even if you can, what next? What about the cruelty of the world? What about all of the pain you will have to go through every day?

The man nods. he knows what I'm thinking. 

"take the knife," he hisses, nodding towards the knife I have next to me. I don't know why I grabbed it in the first place. "Take it. End the pain. Or I will."

For a second, I touch my fingertips gently against the blade, still with my eyes closed. I feel a tinge of pain, and then cool blood start to drip down my index finger.

I flinch away.

"Don't be scared, darling," the man says mockingly. "What do you have to gain from this world anyway?"

I think for a moment.

And then I smile. 

"What do I have to lose?" 

And I open my eyes.