Published October 2, 2011
I long to be kissed;
to feel the warmth of another's hand
drift along the nape of my neck
as chills contradict a melting heart
by coursing down my spine.
I long to be caressed;
to feel the bulge of muscle under sleeves
as arms wrap around me silently,
rapidly sending an emotion
so impossible to describe,
I can only shake my head.
I long to belong;
to feel the racing heartbeat
as fingers trace each other's hands,
a calloused palm against manicured nails.
Alas, they say opposites attract.
I long for raw emotion,
a substance I have faint memories of;
as faded as books pushed behind a shelf,
as fickle as the mind who binds them;
memories of which are catalysts of infinitive,
irrevocable faith in second chances.
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139,546 Literary Works • 672,605 Reviews
I actually disagree with Omnihat. I love the
That's probably one of my favorite lines. I don't know why; it just seems poetic.
Overall, I love it! It's sweet, and almost sad. (I know the feeling.) I love how much emotion you packed into just four stanzas. This is talent
Aww, this is sad in a way. But almost cute at the same time. I like it very much. It's not too long, but doesn't feel too short either, it's nice.
A few things:
The last three lines of this verse are of a bit of a different pattern, as the fourth line feels much shorter than the third line, where as in other verses it is longer or only very slightly shorter and it throws off the rhythm for this verse.
This is very awkward. I suggest using another word than belong.
Those are really the only things I picked out. Again, well done.