Life

What have I become?
Is it really me?
What's going to happen?
It scares me.

I try to smile,
But I can't,
You can make me smile,
But only for a little while.

This feeling...
What is it?
It's nothing good,
Why won't it leave?

Is it a spirit?
A devil?
A curse?
Am I a thought?

Just a memory?
Of someone else?
And when I die,
Will just fade to nothing.

I need the answer,
I need to fix it,
I can't live like this,
How long will I last?

There's blood on this knife,
Blood on my skin,
Drop by drop,
hitting the ground.

I WANT to live,
I WANT to be happy,
I WANT to be normal,
NOT whatever the fuck I am.

I need it now,
I cannot endure much more,
It's just a matter of time,
And a matter of life and death.