Have you ever noticed the shades of green—
dark, light, and pale,
the ones you might not have seen,
or missed in beauty’s tale?
Life has hues and tones,
when it rains and drains,
when it’s old and grown,
through valleys and terrains.
Next time you watch your lilies,
forget not the gentle green,
no, not the fiery chilies,
but the calm of forest green.
Points:
Time spent:
Canary word: Present
Possible AI signals:
Original Text:
Are you sure you want to delete this comment? This cannot be undone.
Mark this comment as a review? Points will be awarded to the poster.
Your comment was posted, but it wasn’t long enough to count as a review. Reviews need about four complete sentences (at least 250 characters). Try writing another review that explains your thoughts in more detail — the author will appreciate it, and you’ll earn points for it.
125,021 Literary Works • 672,740 Reviews
Hey! I'm new to this website so forgive me for not knowing how to write a review.
I personally really like this poem. Repetition is one of my favorite poetic elements. I like the use of green, but I feel as though you could also use more descripting words of the color green to give the poem a bit more vivid imagery. I like the simpleness overall and the effect it gives as to leave room for imagination, but in some places like with "gentle green" and "calm of forest green" I think it's too simple and repetitive. Going into a bit more detail or even just using more descriptive words as I said before would make the poem much more beautiful than it already is! Thank you for sharing this wonderful poem, it has such a nice message and a good flow. That's all from me!
This is short and sweet, but in the best way. The sparse wording still leaves room for vivid imagery, and the meaning is plain and simple.
Some quick notes:
Towards the end of the poem, I noticed you rhymed "green" with "green". That can be a stylistic choice, but also something you might want to consider.
In that same section, your wording was a bit confusing. "Next time you watch your lilies/ forget not the gentle green/ no, not the fiery chilies/ but the calm of forest green." The wording implies that we are to forget the calm of forest green, while remembering the fiery chilies and the gentle green.
Also, clarification could be used in that same section. "Watch your lilies" is a bit ambiguous in this case, and might be better replaced with a different metaphor or more common experience, if that makes sense.
The wording of "fiery chiles" makes me think immediately of chilli peppers. This is fine, I just wanted to make sure you knew in case you were only using "chillies" to describe the color.
Otherwise, it's a great piece!
Heyy sophiee... Thank you for your valuable review. I truly appreciate your efforts in noticing between the lines.
The last paragraph is a mix of humour, irony and a reminder.
The wording implies that next time when you spare your time to watch the beautiful flowers in your garden, make sure you notice the green. Here, 'no, not the fiery chilies/but the calm of forest green.' clarifies what is meant by "green".
The poem emphasis how humans see beauty. They consider beauty either when it's colourful (flowers) or it's useful to them(here, chillies). However, beauty of the nature is infinite.
Moreover, it's simplicity in it's creation is the most awe-strucking factor. But human nature limits the beauty into something that is either vibrant or advantageous to them.
And yes, 'chillies' represent the color. It is to make sure that when l say 'forget not the gentle green' it signifies not the chillies of your garden but the leaves%u2013which often goes unnoticed.