Thrown Into Hell

Right, I've taken care of all of the mistakes that were pointed out by eleinasari and quite a number of spelling and grammer mistakes, so it should be a far better read than it was. if their still any mistakes left that I haven't taken care of, then please tell me.

Anyway, for now the rating of this story will be PG-13 since it only covers mildly mature themes, but it will most likely go to R in the future, so be warned. I Hope you enjoy it.

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Throughout his entire life, Mark had always seemed to be the centre of… strange or just plain bizarre ‘things’. That was simply the best way to describe it. He was just so used to it now, it was like a mildly annoying curse that followed him everywhere. It wasn’t only that, it was always somehow connected to his wife Jessica, but not in a bad way though. For one thing, she had always been able to manage her timing so well. In fact, it was to well managed, if you asked him. He still couldn’t figure out how she managed her day so well all the time, as she was always busy with her work or at looking after the house.

And yet, she had still managed to do housework, go to work and lounge about the house as well. Hell, he could have sworn that it took her usually one hour to clean the whole damn house and cook something that would take five hours for him to do, and they had a big house. Not only that, but she had always contained a boundless amount of energy at the end of the day, even after some of her busiest days... Then again, it was not like he was complaining about any of this, mind you.

Still, the day he died beat them all. While he wasn’t complaining about actually dying itself, despite how weird it felt to be flying out of his body like this, he was however, complaining about how he died. It was actually thanks to some idiot from a group of criminal’s who had tried to hold him up as a hostage while his accomplice’s proceed to try and rob the local bank. Note the word ‘try’.

While he may have indeed be an old man in his 70’s, he certainly wasn’t helpless, as the would-be robber’s had thought. Hey, he hadn’t been the best in his class at the SAS and then the captain of the best squadron in the entire country for nothing, you know? It may seem a bit unnecessary and paranoid, but in cases such as this, he always carried a reasonably sized small dagger, hidden well beneath his shirt.

The rest was simple. Quickly pulling it out when the bank teller had distracted them, he had shoved the dagger into the left side of his holder’s chest, roughly where his heart was, before twisting it around, hard. While the robber had begun squawking in pain, he had twisted his twitching body in front of him as a shield, while his ‘companions’ began firing at him, killing the robber in the process and freeing his Uzi from his tight grip. He then proceeded to take the dead man’s Uzi and have a proper shoot out with the rest of the robbers, just like in the good old days…

Anyway, he had managed to kill five of the robbers without getting even a scratch by hiding behind overturned desks and large pieces of debris from the fight. However, that was before the leader, the seemingly smartest of the bunch, had managed to get a lucky and fatal shot while he had been distracted with his comrades. He more than gladly shot him in the head in return for it. After struggling for five minute on the bloody carpet of the bank, he now found himself now here, on this calm, placid plain, with huge crowds of people milling about and… a smaller group of angels chasing after a flag, all the while being constantly stung by insects…

Well, at least he was, for a couple of seconds. The next thing he knew, he was flying out a swirling dark portal and into a hellish and charred world. Reacting quickly, he curled up into a ball in mid-air, rolled along the rocky and charred surface of the ground, before leaping somewhat dizzily to his feet.

Taking a quick glance around him, he couldn’t help but let out a small sigh in disbelief. “Great, its official, I’m in hell. What am I going to do now though? I can’t possibly stay here, I’ll be tortured!” A slight frown shot across his face. “Why am I here though? I haven’t done anything particularly bad in my lifetime… In fact, considering the number of people’s lives I saved during my war years, I should be heaven or purgatory, at the least... Then again, I did kill a lot of enemy soldiers then, but they were all in self-defence and I had to…”

Letting out a disgruntled sigh, he shook that thought out of his head for the moment, before taking a good look around him. Completely surrounding him, demons and humans mingled together, the former torturing or ‘punishing’ the latter. Mainly, they either seemed to be whipping them, making them push large stones around or sexually defiling them. However, humiliation and irony seemed to be one of their main forms of punishment as well. Out of the corner of his eye, he caught sight of a group of finely dressed nobles, dejectedly pulling around a carriage like horses, while a demon, in the form of a horse sat on the front of the carriage whipping them, all the while shouting ‘mush! Pull harder you fools! We don’t want to be late to the ball, now do we?’

The landscape itself was what he would have thought it to be; charred black and grey from flowing lava and fire constantly raining down on it, making it the dreariest and loneliest barren landscape he had ever seen. However, dotted around, a few puddles of blackened water filled up small potholes in the floor, where they seemed to gleam darkly in the fiery light of the huge cavern that contained hell. In fact, their was one right below his left foot, he dulled noted, right before his eyes widened in shock when he saw his own darken, yet perfect reflection in it for the first time since he had been thrown into hell.

“Th-this is impossible! I’m young again!” It was true, instead of an aged old man starring back at him in the reflection, a young man with messy brown hair and deep aqua blue eyes stared back at him in shock. His handsome and chiselled face was still the same as it had been once before, with jaws set strongly. Yet, this couldn’t be his reflection, as not a single line nor scar marred his face, something that felt very strange to him, since he had always been scarred since he was twenty years old and had grown used to them. “Well… at least one positive thing seems to have happened, and while it is nice to be young again and without a single scar on my face, I don’t see how it’s going to help me here, though…”

“Ahem.” Turning around at the sudden noise, Mark caught sight of the grim reaper himself holding a clipboard, pale eye-brow raised at the stunt he had just pulled when thrown out the portal. “Well, someone certainly knows how to make an entrance, now don’t they, mister…” His blank white eyes shot towards down towards the clipboard for a moment, before slowly drifting back to him in bored manner. “Clift, now don’t we?” Mark blinked in surprise at this.

“What are you talking about? My name second name is Stone, it always has been and it always will be.” The only thing he got was an annoyed click of the reaper’s tongue in response.

“You do realise how many idiots have tried to use that excuse before you, right? Hell, if I had a pound or whatever currency you idiotic mortals are using now, for every time one of you said that…” Shaking his head, his voice lost it’s annoyed tone and took on it’s previous bored one. “Anyway, you’re here to pay for the crimes you’ve committed and by Lucifer, you’re going to pay. Now…” his tone now took on a business like tone here. “The severity of your punishment depends on the weight of your crimes.” He let out a small sigh here. “While where you have been placed in hell has already been determined, aka level 4, it is now out to me to decide how severely you are to be punished. Damned angels, expecting us to do all the work, hold on for a minute…” right before he flicked the first page on the clipboard over and raised it higher, as if to see it better in the dim light of the cave. However, that was right before his eyebrows shot up in surprise, and an amused grin spread across his face. “Well, this is very interesting…”

“What’s interesting?” Mark asked sharply, inwardly worrying as the amused grin that had been on the reaper’s face changed into an evil one. Nothing that can cause a demon deciding your fate to smile like that can possibly be good…

“My, I don’t think we’ve had one of your kind in years now…” Pausing for a moment, a slight tutting noise escaped the bottom of his throat. “I think your record could even rival that of the green-river killer…”

“What?” His said, his voice more hollow than it had ever been. This couldn’t be possible…

“Over 40 people murdered, all of them either strangled or tortured…” The reaper’s face was truly demonic, an evil gleeful look had spread across his entire face, as he stared at him hungrily, looking like a child starring at a particularly tasty treat…

“What?” His voice echoed his previous statement.

“Over a thousand other crimes committed, mainly either robbery or rape…” If it was somehow possible, his grin grew a couple of notches and his long, stark white canines were visible beneath his greying lips.

“What?!” By now a few other demons and their ‘playthings’ had paused for a moment at the look on the reaper’s face. The humans had started to shuffle as far away as possible from him, while the demons all had faces similar to that of the Grim Reaper’s.

“And finally your vicious rampage was put to an end during your greatest scheme yet, by an old man waiting in line for money in a bank…” he muttered softly, an odd gleam in his eyes as he spoke. However, that was all replaced by a confused scowl at the sight of his quarry looking surprised at his last statement, instead of growing even paler than he already was.

“Wait, what did you just say?” it couldn’t possible… they can’t have gotten him confused with one of the leader of the robbers, not in this place, of all things…

“That you, one of the most renowned criminal mastermind’s in the entire world, and his entire team, were massacred by an old man waiting for money in a bank?” Taking a look at his surprised and rageless face, a look of mild surprise spread across his face. “My, I’m surprised I wasn’t already told that you were this good at acting before, I could almost swear that you’re not angry about what I just said.”

“Maybe it’s because I’m not, and that I don’t belong here.” Taking one look at the disbelieving look on the Grim Reaper’s face, he desperately plodded onwards. “Look, I don’t know how this happened, but I’m the old man form the bank. Well… at least I was the old man, before I got thrown into here.”

“… I’ll admit, it is quite rare, but some people’s spirits have been known to revert back to a previous form in their lives where something important happened to them. And it does seem to have happened to you, one of the most evil and twisted people inside hell itself. However…” the reaper went on before Mark could butt in. That will not help you in any case, but do go on. While you try and talk your way out of your inevitable fate, I will decide you’re punishment.”

Gulping, Mark took one glance at the band of leering demons around him, before he somewhat hurriedly spit out: “look, I’m not the bank robber. My names Mark Stone, not something clift.” He paused for a moment, as he noticed the surprised and somewhat uneasy looks that had passed over a few of the surrounding demon’s faces for a moment at the mention of his name, before shaking his head and continuing. “I was born 1957 and was married to Jessica Rose… hm?” The reason why he paused again in his somewhat panicked tirade was because he had seen the same uneasy look that had passed over the reaper’s face for a moment as well at the mention of his wife’s name.

“… How odd that you choose to mention that particular name, of all things…” Shaking his head, the reaper gave him an impassive before speaking calmly again. “Anyway, you’ve managed to impress me again, you actually sounded like you were speaking the truth, and believe me when I say that a demon knows when someone is speaking the truth. Then again, there have been some people who have been able to fool us before, by making themselves believe the lie themselves, of all things. So, tell me, why should I believe you?” Taking one look at the clueless look on Mark’s face, he let out an annoyed sigh. “I thought so… Look, I’m sick and tired of these games Mr Clift, and I don’t have time for this as well. There are others sinners that need to be punished as well as you, so, I think I’m just going to stick with this months favoured torture theme for your case.”

Gulping, Mark could only vaguely mumble his response in horrified anticipation. “And what is that?”

The Grim reaper didn’t even bother to look at him properly as he raised his left hand so that it was level with his head. “Simple, irony.” Right before he snapped his fingers.

It was hard to describe the sensation that swept over mark. At first, it felt like a great wave of water was splashing over him, and then as if some great force was searching for something inside the very recesses of his soul for something, anything, that could be used against him. Then, as sudden as the sensation swept over him, it disappeared completely, leaving him standing there.

For a moment nothing seemed to happen. However, that was right before he felt someone tap him on his left shoulder. Whirling around, he realised he was standing face to face with Gunther, the old tramp that had always hanged outside the district shopping mall to beg for money.

Before he could even utter a singe word, Gunither shoved a crisp 50 pound note into his hands, gave him the thumbs up with one of his usual faraway smiles, before uttering ‘Here, it’s the least I can do for you.’ and stomped off into the crowd of confused demons.

Silence stole over the entire group, the sound of demons crackling and sinners screaming in pain in the background, before the Grim Reaper broke it. “Okay, what the hell was that about?”

Noticing that all the demons around him were staring at him, he nervously shrugged before replying. “ Gunither always hanged around outside the district shopping mall, so Jessica and I sometimes gave him some of our spare change when he was in a really bad state.” Pausing for a moment, he missed the disgruntled and severely annoyed look that flittered over the reaper’s face, while he stared up in bemusement, lost in thought for a moment. “Though, I never would have guessed that we gave him that much…”

Ignoring the snickering band of demons surrounding them, the reaper clicked his tongue in mild annoyance and impatience. “Damn, I can’t believe I cast such a simple spell wrong. Oh well, nothing like trying again to rectify one’s mistakes, now isn’t their?” Once again, before Mark could utter a single syllable in response, that same strange sensation was swooping over him again.

This time the effect was simultaneous. Feeling someone grab his left arm, Mark could only let out yelp of surprise as he saw the smiling face of Mrs Green, the old women who he had occasionally helped across the busy street when no one was their to do it. That was right before she began to drag him to a now very red Grim reaper, all the while leaning on her wooden cane for support, as she practically dragged him across the charred earth.

“You know, considering that she looked like she was in her 90’s when she died, she’s surprisingly very strong still.” Mark couldn’t help but think to himself as he was dragged towards the now very red Grim Reaper, all the while taking in the look on the faces of the surrounding demons. A great number of them were now starring in confusion as he being dragged by old Mrs Green towards the Grim Reaper. However, an even greater number were now laughing out loud at him, having abandoned merely snickering at him, all the while shouting jeers at him.

“Ah, what’s the matter, Grimy? Can’t cast a simple spell properly?”

“Ha! This is physically proof that you are overrated! I always have said that it should have been me doing your job, but nooo, the guy who’s looks like he hasn’t eaten in other a month gets it instead!”

“Your all washed up!”

“Shut up!” For a moment the Grim Reaper’s voice seemed echo throughout the entire cavern, leaving only silence in it’s wake as everyone was now looking in the direction of the now quite large group of demons. Mark couldn’t help but let out a small gulp of fear, as the reaper usual stark white face was now a deep blotchy red, so saying that he was pissed was an understatement… “You want me to show you how to cast a proper irony spell? Fine! Have your way!” Right before he clicked his fingers again to cast the spell.

Mark could even tell before he cast the spell that it would be far more powerful than the one before, the Reaper’s anger would add to it. And he was correct, since this time it felt like a 20 feet wave with the power charging rhino had hit him and nearly bowed him over, right before the usual sensation of something searching inside his soul and a dense white fog enveloped him.

He could tell he wasn’t standing any more; heck, He wasn’t even on the ground any more. In fact, he realised he was now sitting in the branches of a fully bloomed cherry tree, as he caught sight of a branch full of thick deep green leaves, and bunches of blood red cherries sitting amongst the leaves.

As he was admiring the abundance of the fruit, a soft growling sound, like that of a tiger stalking it’s prey entered his ears. Slowly, he turned his head around and let out a small gulp at the sight of two bright amber eyes, peering down at him through the now slowly dispersing mist.

“Oh god.” He couldn’t help but think to himself as a pair of whiskers and a pure white feline mouth began to slowly loom out of the mists. “That maniac has set a tiger on me!” Shifting back slightly, he prepared to jump, before he caught sight of the creatures face properly for the first time, making him freeze in shock.

For a few moments he remained perfectly still, before a slow, deep laugh escaped his throat and began to grow in time. Soon it was a complete full blown, hysterical laugh, bordering the line between pure mirth and insanity.

“I don’t believe it, it’s my wife’s cat that she found in the streets, Mittens!” Standing a 100 feet on her hind legs, a fluffy black and white kitten let out a soft, curious mew as she stared down at one of her previous owners, who was laughing hysterically through the clearing mist. However, that changed when he began to stroke her wet black nose, electing a soft purr in response, while his laughter dimmed down to a soft chuckling.

“Argh! That’s it, I can’t stand it anymore!” Shocked out of revie, Mark peered out through the thick branches of the tree, before bursting out into laughter again at the sight of the Grim Reaper, now childishly stomping up and down on his clipboard in rage, surrounded by now chortling demons. Pausing for a moment, he looked up and caught sight of Mark chortling in the tree and began to physically quiver with rage, making the demons howl with laughter even more and attract Mittens attention to him. “Think this is funny, do you? Fine, I’ll show you what true pain feels like! Echidna, I need a favour!” All laughter ceased completely; heck, all noise left the cavern as he plunged his hands into a black mass that had suddenly appeared right now to him and began to ferociously pull another demon out of it. A female demon, by the looks of it.

Like her Greek counterpart, she was breathtakingly beautiful. Long cascading blonde hair fell over her broad, bare shoulders to form a sleek curtain that went down to her hips. However, unlike her she wasn’t half snake and possessed two of the longest and fairest pair of legs he had ever seen. From the looks of it she had been called in the middle of taking a bath, since she covered in soap suds, while in one hand she held a bar of soap and the other a towel, covering his view from what was between her legs and her bare breasts. Still, even with the towel covering them, he could tell they where enormous, judging by how big the two mounds were behind the towel. Even now, he could tell already that she was a temptation demon, just by how well her body was made.

At first, due to the angle he couldn’t see her face, but that was before she turned her head around to take in the situation, complete shock written all over it. Like her body, her face was flawless and seemed to have been carved out of stone by a master craftsman. Dripping wet, with a few soapsuds clinging onto it, her cheeks held a soft rosy hue to them, with a small, perfectly triangular shaped nose placed between them, while a pair of rose red lips were placed beneath them. Set above them all, two sharp blue eyes stared out underneath a multitude of long, black eyelashes, while a few golden strands fell down from her fringe and were gently swaying about.

“I don’t believe this.” Mark couldn’t help but think to himself in disbelief, as he caught a glimpse of the female demon’s face. “This has got to be nightmare, a horrible, horrible nightmare…”

“What the hell?” He heard Echidna snarl in rage, the shocked look disappearing from her face as she wrapped the towel around herself, angrily glancing around the now frightened surrounding demons, right before she locked on the now pale Grim Reaper, frozen to the spot. “Grim…” her voice took on a low, dangerous tone as she stalked towards the still paling demon. “What the hell did I tell you about portalling me randomly like that? I was in the middle of taking a bath! I should have you skewered for this!”

“No, that’s not necessary! I swear I won’t do it again, I promise! I just forget about your need for human comforts…” Taking a single glance at the growling wet female demon, he gulped nervously, and was about to speak when he was interrupted by a soft, inquisitive meow from giant, hell version of mittens the kitten.

For a moment, complete and utter shock overtook the anger that once been on Echidna’s face again, before bemusement filled every line of her face, as she stared at the now giant sized kitten. “What the? Mitte-?” Rapidly shaking her head about, a calm, yet very wary looked filled her face. “What in dear Lucifer’s name spelled caused this?”

Very quietly, the reaper voice sounded almost like a small, defeated child’s. “It was the irony spell.”

Her face unreadable for a few moments, Echidnas voice echoed calmly throughout the now silent cavern of hell. “And just where is the person that you cast the spell on?” When he pointed towards the oddly placed cherry tree, which mittens the cat had now abandoned and was now in the process of sniffing a few disgruntled demons in curiously. “I see…” She muttered to herself, right before snapping her fingers and the cherry tree disappeared, leaving Mark floating momentarily in mid-air.

“Crap…” Was all that he could mutter, right before gravity took it’s toll on him, making him come crashing down face first into the dry, compact earth of the cavern.

Blearily looking up, he caught sight of the demon known as Echidna starring down at him, a towel now loosely wrapped around her stunning figure, while the reaper loomed hesitantly on her left. “Hello there, do you know you bare an uncanny resemblance to my wife when she was younger?”

Shaking her head in disbelief, she could only watch in bemusement as blood slowly began to trickle down Mark’s forehead while his eyelids began to droop and darkness began to overtake him. “… Okay, grim, since you seem incapable of the smallest responsibility, I’ll deal with him.”

Vaguely, mark could make out the reaper indignant splutters, over the taunting jeers of the other demons. “What? But I was goi-” Taking one look at stony look on his superior’s face, he gave her a small bow in defeat, all the while gritting his teeth as the other’s demons jeers became louder. “… As you wish mistress.”

Just before the darkness that was threatening to overtake him did, he could just manage to make out Echidna's figure looming over him, right before he went out like a light.