Warning: This work has been rated 16+ for language.
Hi! So this isn't linked to any of my other stuff (plot twist) this is a quick Fallout 4 fanfic i cooked up instead of sleeping :D yay! Hopefully it makes some sense without context, but it might help if you've played the game before haha- let me know if you'd like any context and I'll put something down in the comments/ footnote
The supply lines had been disrupted only hours before, causing the whole of Sanctuary to take arms and find the centre of the issue. The problem was certainly common, probably the fault of a submissive courier halted in their path by a hoard of radroaches, driven to the brink with nothing but a 10mm at their side. But Danse wasn’t a stranger to cowards, and was not about to start caring about them now.
The Nuka-Cola braced on the dusty island was turning lukewarm, its taste turning putrid in his mouth as he drank its last remnants down with a sour expression on his face. Certainly a better taste than irradiated water, if less beneficial for his health; something had to tide over his boredom, and his loneliness. As much as the constant bumbling noise bored down at his senses, the many people of Sanctuary were a pleasure to be around, acting as a cool balm to his still recovering mind and a way to put himself back into a true community. Nothing like the cold, unloving world I was taught to believe in. With all the liars I was told to trust. He took the brown, empty bottle back in his hands and rubbed a dried splodge of dirt from its side before tossing it over to the bin.
“Paladin Danse.”
The voice made him sick.
As per natural instinct, he stepped down from the bar stool, and with deadly speed, pulled the laser rifle from his side, aiming it straight into the face of Arthur Maxson. To his disappointment, the man didn’t even flinch, looking down the barrel of his gun with a blank expression over his tired face. Heavier bags lined his eyes, which no longer had the same fire of ambition burning within them. Perhaps even sadness dragged at the Elder’s face, perhaps… guilt.
“Why are you here, Maxson? Come to try once more at my life?” Danse’s harsh tone washed over him like some sort of tidal wave, bringing his brow into a furrow. He stepped back lightly, putting two calloused hands up to air in a silent defeat. Despite his best efforts to remain calm, his finger twitched by the trigger, begging to be let loose, to turn the man to dust in a matter of seconds.
“Please. I don’t want to hurt you, Paladin-”
Stifling a cruel laugh, Danse muttered, ”I’m not one of your little Brotherhood sons-of-bitches anymore. Don’t call me that again.”
Pain flustered over Arthur’s face, an alien expression. As much as Danse tried to banish all his pity, it rose up inside of him like an uncontrollable beast, no longer quiet nor unspoken. Despite everything, despite all the pain he had caused, for at least a moment in time, he saw the man’s regret.
No. This isn’t right; remember how he hurt you. Remember how he ruined everything you ever stood for, trampled it under his own foot.
Cursing under his breath, Danse lowered his weapon, looking upon the weary Elder in sympathy. He felt his own eyes soften, his hatred all but burnt out with the gentle pitter patter of rain outside of the house. “I’ll ask again, Arthur. Why did you come back?”
“I didn’t drag myself all the way to this hole to bring you to the Brotherhood. I hope that’s clear. But I feel that after everything I put you through… I owe you an apology. You lost everything because of blind prejudice, because of the ways vested in our codes. You lost everything because of me. And I’m sorry that it had to end this way.” Once confident, he struggled over his words, his voice choking in his throat. He felt himself shudder at the unadulterated emotion coming from such a cold-blooded killer, the façade of a soldier all but worn away. The tenseness left his muscles, every aspect of his training fading for that brief moment.
“It's alright, Arthur. I have found myself without the Brotherhood. Now I know what I truly am, synth or not, I would never choose to go back.” Danse flinched at his own comment, seething when he heard them spoken aloud.
“Danse. As Elder, as the hope of my forefathers, you were a price I had to pay to help end this war. But if there was any other way, I just wanted you to know that I would not have hesitated to pick it. I thank you for what you've done."
Straightening his back, Arthur sighed, smiling if only subtly towards him. His pride was damaged, visibly too, and his eyes were darting across the messy room, gathering the broken pieces of his shattered ego silently. "The Prydwen will leave the Commonwealth tonight. With the Institute destroyed, our plights here are done."
Shit.
He already felt the departure as a tear in his armour, hearing the rush of the airship overhead for the last time; with it left every painful memory, but also those of joy. Every thought of Cutler, and the damn sacrifices they made to keep each other safe aboard that ship Tears burnt his cheeks, betraying his ever stoic manner.
"Of course," Danse smiled, looking to the skies emptily, "that would be expected."
"I'm sorry."
A strong hand clutched around his back, freezing him solid. Before he could even react, the Elder was away from his body, now halfway across the room and half angled to leave. In a last show of bravado, Arthur thumped his closed fist against his chest, lifting his chin in his strange show of respect. Danse heard the words before they even touched his lips, the motto burned into his memory.
"Ad Victoriam, Paladin Danse."
Points:
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Canary word: Present
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Original Text:
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Good Morning/Afternoon/Evening/Night(whichever one it is in your part of the world),
Hi! I'm Kate and I'm here to leave a quick review!!
First Impression
Well looks like we're looking at quite the intriguing little moment this one. Just one person trying to get away from a toxic place only for another to pretend to do the same and then do the classic backstab.
Anyway let's get right to: Kate's Line by Line Reactions;
Ooh that's a lovely little introduction here, giving us a good taste of what this particular settlement is currently going through and showcasing what he himself thinks of it too while giving us a nice general little description too. I think it comes together quite well there.
Oooh love how much that tells us both about both Danse and Maxson here but also the clear level of relationship that the two of them have. I love how efficient that is, just not even a single line of dialogue and we already know exactly what they think of each other.
Well looks like they had a bit of falling out from the looks of it and were once part of the same group. That definitely makes matter significantly more interesting here in terms of the relationship they currently seem to share.
Well it looks like they definitely had quite a strong relationship in the past too if the simple memories that end up being dragged up are enough for Danse to actually go ahead and lower it without too much being done by Maxson to promote that.
Well it looks like this brotherhood here was quite bad for the both of them it would appear and maybe that's going to help them find a little bit of common ground there. It looks like even now they are able to connect a little based on that.
Oooh well it looks like there's a bit of a common ground maybe forming there between the two of them as they realize the danger they happen to be in there. That is setting itself up quite nicely here.
Well this is quite the little moment, a bit of a surprise move there as they were having just a little moment to themselves, an apology really doesn't look good for Danse's prospect here oh dear. Did he let his guard down too quick?
Oh dear well there comes that betrayal from the title there. Really love the setup to it there, you definitely fooled me that this was going to turn out alright after all only for of course it to all go spectacularly wrong there right at the very end.
Aaand that's it for this oneee!!!
Overall
Overall I think this is a lovely little tale here, really setting up that scene and the two main characters here and the connection between them. Its a wonderful build up to that betrayal because we start to trust him at the same time as Danse who initially doesn't and we get fooled all the same.
As always remember to: Take what you think was helpful and forget the rest!
Kate
Hey there, humblebard! Rebel here for a short review! I haven't ever played Fallout 4, but I have watched some YouTube videos about the game a couple of years ago - so I am somewhat aware of the plot. But since Danse is a side character, i.e., not one of the main companions - I am not aware of his backstory a whole lot except that he was a Paladin of the Brotherhood of Steel.
In this story, it seems that Danse has left the Brotherhood and is resting in the Sanctuary Hills, drinking a can of Nuka-Cola (basically Coca-Cola but with 120% more sugar) when Arthur Maxson, the Commander of the East Coast of the Brotherhood came to apologise to him for all the suffering he has caused to Danse. After a little bit of googling, I found that "Blind Betrayal" is a reference to a main quest in Brotherhood of Steel. That's a nice touch, to be honest.
The dialogues and the character drama feel natural, and I do not find anything to criticise in your little story except a few grammatical its-and-bits here and there, like: "no longer quiet nor unspoken" should have a comma after quiet, or it kinda reverses the meaning. Or you could have just written "or" instead of "nor". And, in the line: "Every thought of Cutler, and the damn sacrifices they made to keep each other safe aboard that ship Tears burnt his cheeks, betraying his ever stoic manner.", I think you missed a full stop/period after "ship" and before "Tears".
And yes, I liked the Ad Victoriam at the end, since I am the Latin nerd.
Overall, it was a good read, and I am sure it would have impacted me more if I knew their backgrounds more and had played the game. Keep writing! :p
P.S.: This review is brought to you by Team Tortoise! :p
cool
thank you very much kind capybara