Youre always telling me how to be
Like everything that I do is another mistake to you
I'm the one you love to hate
You've trapped me in a world I hate
Full of big fake smiles and stupid lies
My dry tears and silent screams
You make me bleed on the inside
I may come off as happy
But all the jokes are just a disguise
Because I can't tell anyone
What's inside
You make me feel so hurt
You make me feel all alone
I'm on the brink of breaking down
And I know nobodys gonna catch me
I just wish someone would understand
But nobody really cares
So let's just say cheers -
For my silent misery
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125,020 Literary Works • 672,861 Reviews
Angry, defiant, a true 'f--- it' attitude that really shows the pain seeping through. I have seen plenty of pieces like this, and most of them are barnburners. Excellent job on showing the emotion. I like that about this.
There's only one thing I think that could be done to improve this, and that's subtlety. You show the emotion well, yeah, but in doing so, you also reveal the thoughts of the writer to the reader with too much ease. There's no challenge for the reader here; they just read it and they get it immediately.
Now really, there's no problem with that at all, and some poets are amazing at doing that. I just think a bit of subtlety through imagery or metaphors would just make this read that much more majestic. But it's your poem, not mine. You do what you want to do.