The colors turn faster and faster in your mind’s eye
Soon it’s going so fast that you can only see a blur
That’s what it feels like, you muse to yourself
That’s what it feels like when you have no control and no meaning
You fly past years as if it were minutes
Gradually you will stop, spinning so fast
And when you do
Your eyes will open
For the first time
In a long time
You will see something
Something that instantly claims all your attention
Guard it with your life
Your soul whispers
You become a possessive person
A protector
Proud
Standing tall
Ready
Your life has meaning
Even if it means remembering to buy milk and bread before you go home
You make someone smile
You live to see that smile
You know now why you believe in Fate and Faith
Because Just like the fact that Fate and Faith come tied together
Inseparable
You are just the same
She is your Fate
And you are hers
And Faith was the thing that made it possible
Made it last
And that makes you realize
She is the one
Simple
Points:
Time spent:
Canary word: Present
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125,009 Literary Works • 672,837 Reviews
I love the poem, it was really great, just a few pointers,
you spelled no wrong, there could be some punctuation but other than that it's good, keep working at it.
There were a few spelling errors but overall an amazing poem that sends the reader into a whirlwind or thought. Truly great. One thought that is still in my mind, though, is, what was this poem about? Who is the one? Maybe this could be another word phrase at the bottom or something, I'm not sure, but I think 'the one' may need to be more clear. I love your poem though, thank-you for publishing this as it fills me with it's beauty!
Hey! What's with cats these days? I'm a fish person.
Your poem, The One, is a very good read! Love, fear, freedom, escape; an all-in-one read huh! Here's a breakdown of my comments.
Concept:
I really like your concept, it is so true and open. If I got it right, you are speaking to the right one and you tell him your wishes and requests. I think these kinds of poetry originated from the Renaissance era wherein poetry tends to speak about longing. I like your ending too.
Technicality:
Take a look at this:
I think 'Mo' is a Greek letter, not exactly English. I'd rather use 'no'. Also, I really get this A LOT in my own works: the capitalization in every verse doesn't work. I think those are the only ones I can notice. Good work!
Content:
I love the words you used in this piece. You did it very creatively and colorfully. I also like most of the verses. These are my favorites:
and also
I believe these are very artistic verses. There is emotion and you used figurative speech. ART...
Overall:
Three happy faces and a smile. I'm very happy about your work. Sweet, short, artistic and colorful. Excellent work. I hope to see more of you the next time!
Your Quick Critic,
Al
I like it!
Amazing job. You can improve a little more. 
But this was good for beginners. (Y)
Though some sentences are too short, which you can work on.
Also your punctuation. It needs full-stops and comma's. That's what a poem is. xD
Other than that. Well... Not much.
Keep Writing! xD Don't give up.
Cookie ^.^