The skeleton of a dove.

by housecat

  • Poetry
  • Lyrical · Lyrical

Published March 10, 2012

A rise is all I want;
The feeling of blissful carelessness.
Blood pumping, faster, stronger,
causing faces to morph into indescribable beauty.
I want a wave to hit me, to ride it fearlessly,
to take pride in my strong will.
All I want is a rise, and nothing more.

I've watched people deteriorate,
searching for the same thing;
drowing it with chemicals
that promise a better tommorrow.
They give their advice,
although they refuse to take it.
They say their apologies
in uncertain slurs.

It angers me. Frightens me.
Confuses me. Chews at me.
I question why I love them,
let alone anybody,
but the question always lingers.

A rise is all I want,
so I close my eyes,
and pretend to wrap my arms around the world,
one of these days,
the skeletons of those doves
will forget the waves
and fly forever.

Just say what needs to be said. Harsh critisism is welcomed. I literally just wrote this, and I haven't written poetry in months. I would love some advice. i need more hobbies.
Comments & reviews · 1
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starrgazer
Review
starrgazer wrote a review Review · Mar 10, 2012

First of all, I have to say I simply fell in love with this title :) I don't know why by "skeleton of a dove" just seemed so....eerily bewitching yet charismatic.

Anyways, things that really stood out for me was "uncertain slurs" (stanza 2), "chews at me" (stanza 3) and pretty much the whole of stanza 1. Brilliant work there.

Oh and did you want to say drowning or drowing in stanza 2?

I know you were hoping for critism, but I've looked over this a few times already and can't say anything bad :(. Really good job on this ( especially for a spontaneous poem) and I hope you write more soon



You know that place between sleep and awake, that place where you still remember dreaming? That’s where I’ll always love you. That’s where I’ll be waiting.
— J.M. Barrie, Peter Pan