zombie short stories

The Ultimate Reason to Stop Smoking Weed

“Dude we I am so high right now” John said.

“I know, man. You smoked all of my weed” Richard said.

John feels a slight pain on his leg. “Gosh, you don’t have to bite me for smoking your bush.”

“Dude man. I’m not even near you.”

“Then who is…” He glanced down and seen his little sister with half of the skin on the bottom of her jaw torn off with blood all over her sleeping gown chewing all the muscles and skin off his leg. “Ah. Get her off she’s like all up on this.” John started panicking and kicking everywhere.

“Hey man it’s not right to rock the cradle.”

Two other little girls that were covered in blood ran into the room and tackled John and started chewing on Johns face and stomach tearing him apart. While Richard is still sitting in his sofa watching and smoking his last joint.

“Nice a gang bang. I want to join.” Richard got up and jumped into the pile. They never smoked weed ever again.

Rappers are the Best Suited for a Zombie Attack

Who would survive a zombie apocalypse? That is the question of the day. People have many views on this issue. The hulking body builders? Nah, they are too slow and can’t reach some of the shorter zombies. Soldiers? Nope, they have too much duty in saving everyone else and all that gear would slow them down and stop their flexibility. Oh I know it! Rappers! Rappers are perfect.

Rappers are perfect for a zombie attack for many reasons. First of all they have many supporters and worshippers to use as shields and to use to stop the zombies from getting to them. Second of all rappers are tough. If they can take a bullet than they can take a bite. So if they ever get bit they won’t go to the ground crying for their mommy’s. Third of all rappers don’t have mommy’s because they aren’t actually human there fore making them immune to the zombie virus. Rappers are allies to the Asians in their attempt to take over the world.

Rappers also have built in abilities that make them perfect for the apocalypse. They have brain altering powers and they are highly psychic. One of rappers most powerful abilities is something that most revere and have attempted to do. Each time they fail miserably. Rappers special ability is what many call a drive by.

The Water Fountain

A man and a woman run over to a wall where a water fountain is.

“Joey, why did we stop here?” Lucy asked

“Well baby, the military told us that we should go somewhere that has a good supply of water and stay there until the zombie problem is over. You following me?” Joey said.

“But what about the zombies that were behind us? We are out in the open.”

“Well baby, these babies are good for more than just showing off” Joey said attempting to flex his flabby arms.

Lucy pressed the fountains button down. No water came out. “No water is comin out.”

“That doesn’t matter baby, you see the military should be coming here since it’s a water source for survivors.”

“Oh you’re such a genius.”

“That’s right don’t you forget that. We have to protect this fountain with our lives for anyone else who comes here.”

Five people drenched in blood missing a few of their limbs started running towards them. Joey pulled the fountain out of the wall and threw it towards the zombies. The fountain hit a zombie on the head crushing its skull. The zombie right behind that zombie fell towards the side smashing its head on the ground spraying blood and brains everywhere. A zombie that was funning on the side of the first flipped and broke its spinal cord. The last two fell on top of each other shoving their noses into the brain.

“Oh my God… The fountain saved us!! Oh hail the fountain!” Joey cheered as he got down on his knees.

“Yah Joey baby, we have a chance to survive now. If we stay close to the fountain!”

Two shots rang out and they both fell.

“Oh finally, I never thought those idiots would shut up.” Said a man in a camouflage suit.

“Honestly, who is stupid enough to stay near a water fountain at a time like this? They deserved to be shot.” Said a man holding a smoking gun.