Published June 9, 2014
Let something beautiful hit the page with no warning
Something to inspire the desperate and motivate the weak
Let each measure lead the way
And find the magic to weave complex chords and notes
To do the unexpected, so easily
And if the music comes alive in beautiful harmonies, in song, let it shine
Let everyone know that even in your darkest days
The light hidden inside keeps the pain away
Go with the flow of the words as they pour from the heart
And straight to the finger tips
Don’t hold back, have no fears and no regrets
Go on, with each measure to scribe pieces only worthy of God’s ears,
Surprise yourself, along with others who expect the worst
Go to a place where nothing really matters anymore,
Being who you want to be is the one thing that makes you free
Go, let go.
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140,619 Literary Works • 673,556 Reviews
This is beautiful.
Every word in this poem seemed to be so well thought out and well placed. Your poem is attached with such an enchanting feel, and I love that. I personally have a passion for music, so I connected with this piece almost instantaneously. I could tell by your writing that you hold music close to your heart as well; I think that's beautiful. I liked the musical terms. I think you used just enough of it to enhance the writing. The emotion is definitely present and I feel it.
If anything, I think it may be the last two lines that might need some tweaking. "Being who you want to be is the one thing that makes you free. Go, let go." The sentiment is a bit cliche and maybe there is a better way to phrase it.
Overall, this is such a lovely poem and I'm so happy I had the chance to read it.
~Fea
Hello.
Kanome here with a review.
First of all, I love the formatting of this poem. This is the first time I've seen it all day today.
Secondly, this poem is very interesting.
I just love the wording and how it flows well with other words.
The last line:
I think it's just me, but I think you could remove the first 'Go' in that stanza.
It just seems out of place to me..
It's only a suggestion, you don't have to change it.
Other than that, keep up the great work. I can't wait to read more of your writing c;
Hi, hesmiledatme!
There is so much opportunity for imagery here. Instead of it being worthy of God's ears, make the angels trumpet it as Revelation bells ring. Make the hounds of hell turn tail and run when the melody rings out-- Oh, the possibilities are heavenly.I like the emotions you've put into this poem. I could feel that you were having some strong emotions when you wrote this!
However, I have a few suggestions that might make your poem even better.
In some spots, I feel like you need more imagery because what you say can be interpreted as anything. "Something beautiful" is a nice sentiment, but what is beautiful? Show us what is beautiful. What flourishes on the page? A forest of pine trees, cut through with dusty sunlight? The clean lines of modern architecture and the way it is so pristine that you dare not touch it? Give us an image to evoke more of a response in the reader.
Also, the question that this brings to mind is "How?" It is one thing to say "Go do it!" but releasing inhibitions in favor of being free is a lot harder than that. Many people want to be free-- they agree with this sentiment completely, but the how is a different matter. I'm not asking you to give step by step directions, but a little hint would be nice.
I suggest that you left align this-- the shape is weird as it is, and it would be easier to read, in my opinion, if it was left aligned.
I like the chords and harmonies and things, but it would make my day if you delved even deeper into musical language. Perhaps let it infuse the whole poem? Instead of images, you would have a soundscape complete with crescendos, ritardandos, syncopations... it would be lovely.
Hehe puns.
Anyway, I like the message, but it needs a little work on execution. I hope that this review proves useful to you! Have fun writing, and happy fahrvergnügen!
Wow, this is a fantastic poem. This is a whole new view of music and how it can bring joy and make beautiful pieces from the heart.
My favourite line of this poem is " Something to inspire the desperate and motivate the weak."
Really, this is a beautiful poem. Its so full of emotion! I love the ways you use to describe music and how it makes us feel.
There is nothing I would change about this poem at all!
Great work, I can't wait to read more of your writing.
Thank you so much! This means a lot to me. I'm glad you took a moment to read my work, I really appreciate it!
Keep up the good work
Thank you so much!
Wow, I really appreciate the review! It makes me all tingly inside for me to know that you've read my work and like it! Thank you so much!
Oh sure no problem. It was a joy to read