quiet is my refuge
early morning quiet
when the only words spoken
are those whispered by the wind
little reminders
that nature still has secrets to tell us.
leaves rustle
they too wish to share their opinions
and at this hour
when darkness coats the sky
and shadow trees menace
i am the only one to listen
and i do so
compliantly
because everyone needs an ear to listen
from time to time
quiet
i sit
listening
until the sun begins to cut its way through the darkness
and the shadow trees grow tired
and the leaves and the wind have nothing left to say
then
quietly
i gather the words
which the wind dropped on its way out
i put them in my pocket
safe until tomorrow
and i go
off into the noise
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139,308 Literary Works • 672,528 Reviews
Oh wow... This spoke to me on so many levels. My favorite time of any day is when I am able to go to my creek or trail and just listen to the wind and leaves rustle in the sunlight. Actually... it felt like I as transported to that special place by your simple yet intricate words. It was a really nice feeling.
When I read poetry, I always look for them to give me a feeling- whether it be a happy feeling, profound feeling or a depressed feeling. You gave me a happy feeling and actually made me smile. Thank you for that. You succeeded in every aspect in this poem. Great job!
a review by me,
Overall, your use of alliteration and consonance was very good and it really added to the title. I also very much like the was you had your lines spaced out, while still having the whole stanza flow beautifully.
One thing you could improve on, very minor one, is that you could maybe try to lessen the amount of lines you have for a whole thought. For the second stanza some lines could be one, but I understand the way you're going with it. Good job and well done.
wow so beautiful!!