The most healthy person I could think of would be, Hannibal Lecter. Healthy only because he has a true sense of self, he’s in great physical shape, and although he’s viewed a as a deviant person in the eyes of society, he knows who he is, accepts himself, has a grasp of the human mind, but even though people don’t accept him into society, he’s happy with himself, which is all that truly matters, because nobody can truly fit right in, but accepting your self I think is the true definition of social health.
Agent Starling from this movie is unhealthy because she doesn’t know how to let go of the past, she is severely emotionally unstable and has low self esteem. You can tell she emotionally unstable by the way she holds on to the past, the way she thinks she can fix the past by trying to fix the future, which then puts her in high risk situations where she can be overpowered and seriously hurt quite easily. She puts others before herself to such an extreme that her life is at stake. She has self esteem issues possibly because of her being a female FBI agent, she doesn’t say anything to anyone about it and she just lets stuff go, she stands up for herself once throughout the whole movie, the rest of the time she lets people walk all over her. When she attempts to stand up for herself shes so “weak” that no one listens to well. But she’s accepted into society, therefore she appears to be more healthy. Why? Because she can hide her problems.
The interesting thing is, is that you would probably disagree with me. Why? Because Hannibal is a sociopath? Because he’s messed up in the head? Well, aren’t we all. Or maybe because he’s not accepted into society? Well if all of us actually showed our thoughts, feeling, and acted on our impulses like he does, would any of us be?
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Hiya! This work looked lonely with only one review, so here I am to help you!
So. This is an interesting piece in its subject matter, but it could use a lot of work. I like your ideas and the way they are presented simply and consicely. First, I'll just point out specific things I noticed.
"The most healthy person I could think of would be, Hannibal Lecter."
Two things I would change about this sentence: First, change "could" to "can". "Could" is in the past tense, implying that you are not thinking about it when you're writing, but only did before, or that you changed your mind. This is not what you're going for. Secondly, take out the comma between "be" and "Hannibal", because it is not grammatically correct. In general, also, this is not a very interesting beginning. If you want people to start reading your essay, the best thing to do is add a "hook" at the beginning: an interesting sentence or two, often questions, that are used to draw readers in and get them interested.
"Healthy only because he has a true sense of self, he’s in great physical shape..."
This sentence, that constitutes the rest of the paragraph, also needs to be edited in two ways. First, it is not properly a sentence. It is basically just a list of things, but since it lacks an original subject and verb, it's not complete. Second, it is extremely run-on. Try breaking it up into three or four different sentences.
"Agent Starling from this movie is unhealthy"
"This movie"? Your reader does not know what movie you are talking about. O.o
"She has self esteem issues possibly because of her being a female FBI agent"
I don't see why these two things correlate. Explain more in depth about this, perhaps?
Okay, so in general, the two biggest things I would do would be to lengthen this essay (it needs a lot more explanation) while keeping the concise and clear nature, and to split up the run-on sentences. I really like the last paragraph; it is probably your best. So just work on those things I mentioned and it can be a very insightful essay, I think. Too-da-loo and happy writing!
~Sapi
Lets starts off with the fact that I really like this movie, it has to be a favourite of mine! This is a good comparison essay with strong arguments. It is however missing an introduction and evidence of specific examples from the movie. While you do say Starling stood up for herself but was ignored you could give the example there of when she stood up for herself and what was said. The last paragraph is my favourite as it brings up the great idea that we are all a little messed up. An essay however should not have questions in it, it should answer the questions. Try re-wording the questions into statements. This will give it a lot of power to your already good argument. There are also just a few grammar mistakes...
-"No one listens to well." should be "too well"
-"shes so weak" should be "she's so weak"
Not bad for a first go!
Happy Writing!