I'm sorry about the world today.
How every little child can't laugh and play.
I'm sorry about the disease in the world that stops one from living.
Why can't we all be a bit more giving?
I wish I could change the course of life.
So no one else will have to live through this strife.
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125,013 Literary Works • 672,842 Reviews
I really love this poem. So simple, and yet so full of meaning and truth. Life can be really terrible sometimes. All I know is that sometimes bad things happen for a reason, perhaps that little child that couldnt laugh and play was made stronger. Maybe that disease made another realize just how well they have it. Just a thought.
I dont see much to critique. Good job, and I look forward to reading more of your works.
thank you
This is just my OCD kicking in.. but is there an intended space in the first line?
I apologize. I thought this poem was simple but it emphasized a valid concern of many people today. I have been pondering this sadness for quite a while, and I enjoyed seeing it expressed in a literary form. The only thing I would change is the third and fourth line. It's a wording thing. I would revise it as:
"I'm sorry about the diseases that stop one from living.
Why can't the world be a bit more forgiving?"
It's up to you. Other than that, I loved it. Great work.
Best wishes,
Emily
ok thankyou
Hi, hazelophelia!
In the second line, I would start with "That" instead of "How" to continue from "I'm sorry…"
In the third, I would say, "I'm sorry for" instead of "I'm sorry about"
Also, by "disease," do you mean an actual disease or are you referring to stress and other things that stop us from truly living? If you mean an actual disease, I would say "diseases" rather than "disease" because, unfortunately, there are many diseases that kill people.
I really like the idea of this poem, and I like how it highlights the imperfections in our world. So many people blame the world's issues on others, and I think it is very important to acknowledge our part in it.
Keep up the good work!
-Lydia
I like that this is so simple. I like that the meaning about this is so straight forward, and foreboding, like it shows what horrible thing the world has come to. I like how you are the one saying sorry. I was not sure I would like it, but I did. I wish that there was more poetry in the world with all of us saying sorry for everything that has happened, because it every one of us is at fault. We need more people in the world like you, who recognizes that the world is definitely not a perfect place right now, and that there are more faults than we think. Very well done.
Thankyou so much!!!!!!