Good Morning/Afternoon/Evening/Night(whichever one it is in your part of the world),
Hi! I'm here to leave a quick review!!
Anyway let's get right to it,
Winters in the north were long and hard, as the black ice laced the bitter hilltops, long hard lances of the high winds from the north scattered dead leaves from the resting place of fall. Syal leaned against the cold stone window frame and gazed out across the open fields as the first flakes of snow drifted in over the valley, a long, smooth strip of bamboo she held out into the air, swiping drifts as they passed. The snow she had seen before, and the pastures with men and horse, but this excited her all the same, though somewhat small in evidence to look upon.
“‘You go to your stitching lesson today, Syal?”
Okay well that's a simple enough start there. A very straightforward sort of moment to be starting off on and I think you're doing a pretty neat job as far as that's concerned. Its certainly enough going on there to get our attention fairly well as readers and on the whole it does seem like we're headed towards some exciting prospects here.
The girl turned from the window to see her brother skip up the last two stairs behind her. He was dressed in light shorts and a tight grey training vest, and his eyes spoke of sleep.
“Take me to the quarter Chriten,” she said, stepping away from the window. She thrust the stick into an invisible adversary and mimicked a parry. “I want to practice.” Lowering the stick, she complained, “I never get to practice, it’s always stupid sewing or balancing things on my head. Stupid lady stuff, as if mother does stuff like that.”
Alright, well that immediately tells us more than a couple of interesting things about what this person may be like here. You definitely get a decent sense of their character and perhaps a little bit about the kind of environment they are in as well. It definitely works well with introducing us to what this story might be about here.
“You never even go, little sister,” Chriten laughed, snatching the stick from her hand. “But come on then. I’ll show you what the Capitan taught me yesterday, but you’ll have to wait in the kitchens I’m awfully starved.” The two set off down the corridor and into the warmth of the kitchens. The sun was not quite up but it was well light and breakfast was well underway, Chriten snatched two pastries from one of the trays and a piece of buttered toast. Handing Syal one of the pastries, they raced from the kitchens and out into the main courtyard below. The main courtyard, despite its name, was rarely used. Gnarly old chestnuts sheltered it from the sun that never came, and it was as spacious as it was empty. Brittle leaves of late autumn littered the ground and shuffled lightly in the breeze, but the heavy oaken doors were pried open into the forest, and thus the two escaped easily with sticky fingers and empty hands
Hmmm...well that presents an interesting ending there. Its not the most straightforward of moments there given it doesn't fully seem to lead to too much there, but as far as presenting a bit of a start goes, it does certainly work out here. I think you have a pretty solid bit going here and you could certainly take this quite far.
Aaaaand that's it for this one.
As always remember to take what you think was helpful and forget the rest.
Stay Safe
Harry
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