In the wake of her beauty
She rises with all life surrounding her,
All perfect in their own symmetry unalike,
Emulating her desire to be seen by the beholder;
in awe of shimmering aura from the sun's tender embrace
and the kisses of a thousand raindrops
that influence her bloom with such admiration, such clarity
A woman, like a rose, captures the eyes of many
But attracts the heart of one
In the pursuit of a suitor there are many,
but only one will hold her essence true
Even in the dead of winter
Points:
Time spent:
Canary word: Present
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125,016 Literary Works • 672,852 Reviews
Hello Tuesday here for a review. i like to begin that I enjoyed the comparison of a woman to a rose (most poems try to do this idea well and sometimes they fail since they just use similes or metaphors) yet in this one you use imagery which can spark the imagination in the readers who read since they can imagine most of the words into their mind. Also the tone of this calm or peaceful plus I would assume, that there are internal rhymes since this poem also has a beat or movement.
I would put a common before there since it looks like it needs a small pause or something.Nitpick(s):
this stanza kinda confuses since how can the rose find a suitor. Did the suitor protect the rose in the middle of winter? Could be exampled more or something.
Overall, I would say that this poem is amazingly well-written (although with the mistakes within this poem that can be fixed), since it uses wonderful imagery and similes that can change someone's life since most similes in most poems, compare to like things and you have done that well. Also I enjoyed the comparison of a woman to a rose (although it is very cliche).
Farewell,
Tuesday
This felt underwhelming for me and maybe that's just because most romance poems aren't really my cup of tea. Nevertheless, I feel like this particular take on beauty (comparing the woman to a rose) is something that you could have dwelled deeper on. Maybe talked about the thorns and the hidden depravity of people craving sweetness that comes with barbs. Alternative ideas that could have enriched the metaphor and extended the depth of emotion within the poem.
You write that "in the pursue of a suitor there are many," and I wonder if you mean "pursuit" because that's what's grammatically correct.
All in all, the poem's sweet. Unfortunately, that's all it is. It doesn't evoke any strong feelings from me at all, but given the fact that you can only improve, I believe that a bit more practice and reading will clean you up in no time. Keep writing!
Thanks for your feedback I appreciate it. I had intended to write pursuit but because it was a typo it was automatically changed to pursue, my apologies. Your review gave me some useful hints I can build upon so thank you for your honesty
A unique topic that people like me love. A true story within a few short lings. A nice description of a woman who obviously is a master of the heart. I like the part about the suitors and the part about her essence. That was very deep. I like how the woman was compared to the flower. I think that the poem is a hit 4/5 stars!
Thanks a lot for that it really means a lot. I truly appreciate it.
Very nice, very nice indeed
Thank you so much, I appreciate it