z

Young Writers Society


12+

Tree Girl Chapter 6

by starbean


We arrived at home and I got out of the car. It was sunny here at the house and the air had the sweet smell of cherry blossoms in the air.

I pulled mom to the backyard and hopped over the white picket fence. She came after me warily. I gestured towards the little chattering brook and the tall trees. It is about an acre of flat space and then it slopes down to the Siuslaw River. 

"Elana, this is a cool spot. I am a little worried about the fact that there is a river down the hill though. You are allowed back here as long as you promise me to not go anywhere near the slope. Okay? And tell us ~ I mean let us know when you are going back here. And never let Mark come back here. Got that?" she said hesitantly but sternly.

I nodded my head. I promise. 

"Okay. I will leave you here for a while to do whatever you do back here. Just be careful. And, if there is a violation of the rules you will never be allowed back here again." she voiced.

I nodded my head for about the 10000th time in the past two weeks. She hopped back over and I, for the first time today was left in peace.

I gladly welcomed the gentle breeze as it blew my thin, black hair in the wind. I put my sockless feet in the cool water. We had gotten a lot of rain in March, and the brook was about a foot and a half feet deep now. The water tickled my toes, and as I recalled the events of the day my eyes got cloudy. I quickly blinked back my tears and looked up at the tiny patches of light coming through the gaps in the evergreen trees. I took my feet out of the water and decided to just sit in the brook. I shivered as the cold water flowed down my T-shirt, soaking it through. It felt good. I got out and went and sat on a large, dry boulder and let the sun dry my wet body. I stayed there like that for a while, laying there, welcoming the bright sun. For that short period of time I had not a care in the world.


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166 Reviews


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Wed Dec 16, 2020 9:12 am
DreamyAlice wrote a review...



A short but nice chapter
You have done a fabulous job in details of the writing I can make a picture in my head of how it would be over the white fence. It was very peaceful when she was enjoying herself alone and you described it very beautifully.
Very curious to know when she will talk and how.
Keep Writing
Bye!!!




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Sun Dec 13, 2020 9:54 pm
Unknownentery says...



This is really nice. I like the detail of the writing! It helps paint a picture of what's going on. I hope you keep out the good work. The story itself is also pretty nice! Good Work.




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Sun Dec 13, 2020 12:40 am
momonster wrote a review...



I'm here! Finally made it to the last chapter XD

I love this chapter! You sum up so much in almost three paragraphs. That's something I wish I could do! (:

...the air had the sweet smell of cherry blossoms in the air.

Take out one of the the air's here.

I pulled mom to the backyard and...

It should be Mom here.

And tell us ~ I mean let us know when you are going back here.

A dash instead of a tilde (~) here.

...and I, for the first time today was left in peace.

A comma after today

That's it!
Momo




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Thu Dec 10, 2020 10:49 pm
sunnyduckling says...



ayyy it has my name in it! but anyway, its pretty calming. i wonder how this will look in the future! its great already, but im excited to watch it progress! i love the detail of when she is alone, and her being by the tree, it was very calming and it sounded beautiful. i wonder what happened to make her mother question if she can stay there alone tho, its very interesting, i hope to find out soon!




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Wed Dec 09, 2020 9:57 pm
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starbean says...



I know that this chapter is kind of short. Sorry. Chapter 7 will be out soon!



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SpunkyMonkey says...


Keep up the good work!




Sometimes I'm terrified of my heart; of its constant hunger for whatever it is it wants. The way it stops and starts.
— Poe