War

by hamerkid2

Published June 15, 2011

Everyday is a battle,
Every night a victory,
Every breath a bullet,
Every step a bomb.
The search for peace
Becomes a struggle for power.
The search goes deeper,
But the objects seem to disappear
Until the battle loses all meaning,
Finally we have lost the war.
Time to rebuild and start again.

Comments & reviews · 4
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ChibiGiraffe
Comment
ChibiGiraffe commented Comment · Jun 15, 2011

Oh God. Wow. Loved this. Great poem, great message. As hard as I tried, I just can't find any nitpicks for this. :)
Amazing job *likes*

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XxMattxX
Review
XxMattxX wrote a review Review · Jun 15, 2011

Dude, this is really deep. I liked it...

Most epic beginning ever...

Everyday is a battle,
Every night a victory,
Every breath a bullet,
Every step a bomb.


Very nice.

Keep Writing!
-----------------
-Jojo

User avatar
sarebear
Review
sarebear wrote a review Review · Jun 15, 2011

Hi Hamer,

This was really beautiful! I loved the first four lines. I also loved the next two lines. And the last two. Basically I loved the whole thing. I don't actually have any complaints at all about this, no nitpicks, nothing! I could totally see this as the opening poem in a novel (like on the opening page right before the novel actually begins). So great job!!!

sare



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