A really beautiful rhythm: I could almost hear it being read in a soft, steady voice. I enjoyed your use of unusual words, and/or your unusual use of words: "dusk-dimmed houses," "wadded globe of lights," "the gravity of asphalt." Also, the imagery of lights "mining" the city really rang true to me. What can I say? I never did expect anything less than excellent from you.
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Canary word: Present
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125,020 Literary Works • 672,861 Reviews
gryfalcon said that they could almost hear it being read, right? I could hear it. A voice that reminds me of dusk... and candle flames, sort of: soft and quiet, almost velvety.
As for the actual poem, it's beautiful. You have such a way with words; the imagery is spectacular and the rhythm is really good, too. I really like the mood that this portrayed because sometimes I feel that way, walking outside at night in the city -- your words made me relate to those times, remember them. Which is a good thing.
I feel useless. There's nothing to critique... I can only ever give helpful reviews to bad poetry, anyways.
Keep it up, you have a lot of talent!
- Camille xx
Always, my dear, you present a complete view, an image and story in so few words. The imagery is fantastic, you can feel the pulse, and the rhythm wonderfully. I like this, quite a lot, obviously. I find it to have a story that is so smoothly presented that is unfolds swiftly but with great flow.
Nice work, ^^ I always look forward to your writing.
*Hearts* Le Penguin.
You have an amazing talent, I love the imagery, and the way you make everything flow together.
. "Stayed by the space of rhythm and the light that scatters across the road like whispers through miles and miles of wood." This is my favorite line. It really spoke to me.