Young Writers Society

Wow, I thought the other one was nonsense!

This is amazingly nonsensical!
So many new words I am overwhelmed! It's beautiful!
I feel so mooshy all of a sudden! That song was . . . mooshy for sure.

All that ooosh.

Nice work, amusing for sure. Good song for a little kid!

Keep it up! (What else?)

Hey guineapiggirl! You reviewed my poem, so I thought I'd return the favor!

Honestly, this isn't something that I can "review," really, but I thought that I might as well stop to tell you that I still sincerely enjoyed reading it. I almost feel like this would be an amazingly (weird but) awesome children's picture book in a way...

I feel as though perhaps this should be pieced apart into stanzas, although this is sort of rambling and having it be one piece of text kind of works out. Beyond that, I really have no criticisms! This was fun to read.

Keep writing, and best wishes. xxx

LOL, I loved this! Absolutely kiddie-like! I know your brother must have loved this. XD

I loved the use of De all the time, it added repetition as well as a funky sounding twist to the poem. I honestly don't have much to say about this, so I'll just finish off with Keep at it!

And write more of these! Please!

Hey there guineapiggirl! (love the username, by the way) Sea here to review.

I finished reading the poem, and my first thought was "What just happened?" I completely followed the story, and I didn't feel particularly lost at any point, but this was just so out there that I got to the end feeling as though I didn't catch any of it. It's the strangest feeling. This was simply a lot of fun, and I really enjoyed reading it.

Structurally, I would not capitalized so many words. There were too many uncapitalized words to make it seem like it had a pattern, and it was just a tad (get it? Tad-pole? Eh? Eh? *clears throat* moving on) distracting. I would follow standard capitalization rules.

I would put a comma between "Deep Deep" in the last line. You need punctuation between "Quick Quick!" a few lines up, but I'm not sure a comma would fit the mood. I'm usually not a big fan of overusing exclamation points, but you might put another one in between those two words. This whole poem has a feeling of excitement, like your telling the story to a little kid with exaggerated facial expression, so the exclamation point work.

I would like to tell you to split this up into stanzas. Doing it by six lines would work very nicely, I think. It's more visually appealing to the reader and seems somehow less tedious to read, probably because it seems organized. However, this poem is pretty short, and it feels like a stream-of-consciousness-type deal. In that case I sort of like no stanzas. So just look at your poem and decide what you want to convey to the reader through your format.

I'm not even really sure how to review this because the language was so unusual. I liked your rhyme scheme and rhythm pattern. It felt very bouncy, like a frog.
Let me know if you have any questions about the review. Good luck, and happy writing!
-Sea-

Hello!


Well, I'll be honest with you. I actually enjoyed reading this poem. Yes, it did not really make that much sense to me but it surely is out of this world!


It has a childish rhythm and a sluggish, kind of wicked essence to it.



Once again, I enjoyed it quite a lot. So well done.


Never limit your imagination even when it blurs your own understanding.




Write more,
Anonymou5