Bang! went my sniper rifle, the bullet in an instant travelling two kilometers and penetrating the Prime minister of Norway’s skull. My first kill, I almost couldn’t believe it. Laying on the floor bleeding out I could only imagine how he felt, if he was shocked, terrified or felt a feeling of relief as the light slowly drained from his eyes.
For weeks I had been investigating his nefarious actions and deeds, his illicit dealings with other countries and even his affairs. hired by his wife I was tasked with assassinating him in the most public way possible. The date of the election was the day I chose to kill him because there was an open stage where the candidates would give their speeches. With many vantage points where I could choose from I chose the most inconspicuous but vast building I was able to find. Twenty-three story’s high I decided upon the roof for a clear shot.
Sweat was running down my cheeks as the candidates one by one gave their speeches. With every speech drawing closer to the Prime minister’s, my heart started pounding, thoughts racing through my head like what if I miss my shot or if I got arrested but I couldn’t focus on those thoughts. Tasked with a mission and equipped with the will to do it I got into position. As the prime minister started talking I took aim and with a shaky hand I lined up the shot, but I had lost my composure. Too scared to take a life I closed my eyes and pulled the trigger. Once I did I knew I would never be the same again, I was forever scarred by my own actions like a blemish on my soul.
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137,484 Literary Works • 672,034 Reviews
Hello there, greg! Quite an interesting story you've got here; I'm going to drop a quick review!
Excellent hook, you grabbed my attention in the first sentence!
Hmm. Okay. I think it doesn't make sense that his very first target would be someone so important. I mean, assassins have to build a reputation for efficiency before they're deployed. The reason inexperienced assassins aren't used is because they may fail; and this is very nearly what happens in the story.
While the first kill thing was important for pointing out how horrible the narrator felt afterwards, it still just doesn't make sense for the victim to be such a high profile target.
Some really cool writing here! It helps build up the tension pretty well.
*storeys*
Can you make this "gave their speeches one by one"?
A bit contradictory, this... they were too scared, but still pulled the trigger?
Wow, what a powerful ending.
Overall, it was very enjoyable and its shortness made it quite easy and pleasant to read. The plot is simple, pacing is perfect, and storytelling ability is excellent. You did a good job building the tension even after the end was revealed.
Good work! I hope you keep writing!
~ Lee
Hi slubbs here with a review!
This was a neat short story.
I like the concept of the wife hiring him to kill.
Anyhow let’s jump into the juicy stuff.
The beginning was splendid! You gave lots of detail making the us want to continue reading.
“I could only imagine how he felt, if he was shocked, terrified or felt a feeling of relief as the light slowly drained from his eyes”
I really liked the detail here, it made you think about it.
I liked how you started with the main point then did a back story, that can be hard to do but you nailed it.
Other than that I did see a few grammar errors and I wish the sniper wasn’t on a rooftop because I found it typical xD.
Overall it was a cool little short story that made me think.
I have one question. Why would he pick the job assassin if he is to afraid to kill without feeling guilt?
~slubbs
Good Morning/Afternoon/Evening/Night(whichever one it is in your part of the world),
Hi! I'm here to leave a quick review!!
First Impression: Hmm...well this was certainly an interesting little story here, pretty short, but manages to actually capture this one little scene pretty well, that touch of backstory was pretty neat too.
Anyway let's get right to it,
Okay...well...that is off to a dangerous start there, assassinating the prime minister of country is certainly a big deal and having it just right at the very first paragraph of a story really makes it sound like this is an assassin that means some serious business here. And this has to be a pretty big rifle by a very skilled person to make a shot from that ridiculously far. Its been done before but well...that is not an easy shot at all. And if that's their first kill...well, that's a lot of skill. Although the one issue is the instant part, bullets travel pretty fast, but 2km is something that will take even a bullet a couple of seconds to travel, its not quite instant...well this is me being super nitpicky...but uhh...the more you know.
Hmm...snipers do shoot from the roof, but hmm....I don't think that's the most inconspicuous location though...anyone looking up might see him, a room on the top floor would probably be a lot safer. Other than that however, this is pretty neat, you get to know who gave this person the job, and why, and you know why this person here is being killed, and well, a public assassination like that is certainly quite a big deal. And this person taking on a job like that for their first skill really means this person has to be very confident in their abilities.
Well, shaking hands is generally not how shots from that far away are successfully taken, that's a little weird there, but alright, let's just say this guy was lucky...or I suppose unlucky cause they did successfully take a life and at the end it looks like they only realized the gravity of what they had just done after doing it...and well, it looks like he's definitely not exactly happy with himself there, calling it a blemish on his soul. Well, looks like he'll regret that one for a while to come.
Aaaaand that's it for this one.
Overall: Overall, if you don't get too nitpicky about accuracy when it comes to guns and how this sort of thing is done in real life, its certainly convincing enough and you've done a pretty decent job here.
As always remember to take what you think was helpful and forget the rest.
Stay Safe
Harry
wow this story is truly inspiring i love the way u done it