I stand in wonder
At the world
At each hemisphere
At each continent
At each state
At each city
At each building
At each house
At each family
At each mother
At each father
At each child
I stand and wonder
What would life be if there was no world?
No hemispheres
No continents
No states
No cities
No buildings
No houses
No families
No mothers
No fathers
No children
I stand and wonder…
What would the world be?
Now I ask of you,
What do you wonder?
Now you, my friend
Stand and wonder.
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139,289 Literary Works • 672,524 Reviews
Dear greendog74,
I wonder what made you wonder such a different and unique wonder! I mean, I never wondered about such a thing! You really made me wonder but why should I wonder about this. You have asked us to wonder about stuff but you couldn't convince me as to why should I wonder. Poems must contain the power to persuade people to think what you want them to think.
Well, this is my point of view! I won't forget to notice the effort you put into this one. This is a unique concept and I appreciate the fact that you chose such a topic. Put in a little more thought on this one and your poem is an awesome work!!!
Keep it up! All the best!
Keep wondering
Hey there greendog74. It's just lizzy dropping by real quick, so without a further ado, let the reviewing begin.
The description is the first thing anyone will ever see about your work. It's the deciding factor on whether they click enter or keep scrolling. So of course it needs to be attention grabbing. You did pretty well by posing the first question but I think the second is unnecessary. You are trying to grab someone in with your wonders. I mean you ask something of an action and that's great. It signals the reader you are going to say something about your wonders.
Just stop there when it was going well. Don't look for theirs, just focus on yours. If you still want that question, maybe put it in bold or italics at the end. I rewrote it a bit just because you had a slight typo.
I actually ended up taking a bit from your poem to come up with a replacement of the second question. It may or may not work. Just try it out.
I like the overall point of the poem but the repetition drove me a bit insane. Repetition is nice in poetry but it's really easy to go overboard. Some lines are extremely short and that also bothered me. It took forever to get through the poem because as soon as you read three words you have to switch to the next line. This part needs to be fixed and I think I can kill two birds with one stone. Wait for the magic solution...
Trumpets sound, crowd cheers, everyone gasps
Combine lines that start with the same repetition.
I think the first combo would go nice here.
I was looking at places for the break and decided to choose places that somehow related. In this case you are obviously going from hemisphere to city. To me this was a slow enough descent. Here's the second version.
You just have to repeat the process for each of the different places. I didn't spot anything as far as grammar, spelling, and typos. It seems that this now signals my time here reviewing has come to an end.
Have a nice day.
Lizzy
Queen of the Book Clubs
ok this send a clear message and i love how at the end where u put Now you, my friend
Stand and wonder.bring the reader to continue this at the end as we all stand and wonder.you bring every major thing in this.from hemispheres to cities to houses and families.the idea and thoughts you put in this are really good so keep up the work and hopefully i will read more of this work.
Thanks
Greendog74,
This poem was great! I like the visual it gives off and I can clearly see it in my head. I also like your repetition of your poem I think you did a great job at that! I saw no errors or mistakes as I read and that is fabulous! Your a great writer and so keep up the marvelous work! Keep writing and I hope to read more of your work in the future!
AshleyDashley
Thank you AshleyDashley
I appreciate it 
Welcome!