Published March 31, 2011
When I look at you I see faith, I feel trust, and I feel warm. When I look at you I worry of the day I have to let go. When I look at you I see courage.
When I see you I feel regret, When I see you I see more than what we are. You are my best friend.
When I look into your eyes I see Love, Faith, and heartbreak.
When I talk to you I say "When you go, will you wait for me? When I die will you be at God's gate waiting?"
When I look at you I see faith, I feel trust, and I feel safe. When I look at you I worry of the day I have to let go.
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141,730 Literary Works • 675,632 Reviews
This isn't my thing. You seem to not be very good at punctuation or anything. This doesn't work for me. Sorry.
Hey! Welcome to YWS. It's pretty fun.
You need to mke sure you have proper line breaks. Otherwise it doesn't read well. While repetitions are good in poems, this one has too may 'When I look at you's. But I like the words you usedand the theme.
Hello,
What I edit will be in red.
I'm here to give you a reveiw.
Very trivial nitpicks I know, but still, I hope you do not mind.
Now, for my opinion on your piece. I loved it! To me, the down side of finding someone you truly love, and who loves you. (As rare as that is these days.) Is having to let them go. You did a wonderful job of expressing that.
God Bless,
Amber.