I have always known that class participation would never be a strong point of mine, but never did I think that it would be important. While my mind reels over what I should say when I stand up in front of the whiteboard, my ears tune out, and I forget to pay attention. In this class, I think, listening will be important. A 10% class participation grade is set, and though I try, I simply cannot handle it. Even in the case of total understanding of the material, the highest grade I can achieve is a 90. The belief that I will learn through daily presentations both lowers my grade and reduces my understanding of the class topic. My introverted habits wage war with the methods of my extroverted teacher.
Introverted, they call me. Parents, teachers, and other classmates call me an introvert, as though I am plagued with a disease that causes me to spend my time alone. Members of society tell me to speak up; that being an introvert is bad, and that I should engage more often in the social small talk of normal people. I am not weird or defective, and I do not hate others. I am a Listener. I spend my time thinking and exploring my thoughts instead of being with others. I learn from listening to others instead of talking, taking in information. This often makes me an outcast, due to the prominent idea that people should be extroverts. Extroverts surround me. Whether I am in public or at school, I can feel the pressure of society telling me that I am abnormal.
“I wish for your daughter to interact more with other students and share what she has to contribute,” teachers say. Authorities and classmates are often frustrated by my lack of extroversion and attempt to force me out of my introverted habits. I do not, however, learn through contribution. My tongue has a habit of tying in knots when I try to speak, and I prefer to sort out my thoughts before voicing them. With my mind focused on what I am going to say to the rest of the class, I cannot learn. My introverted habits make class much harder for me than it needs to be.
While we, as people, are given the freedom of speech, we are much less often given the freedom of listening. To be loud and social is the desirable trait of people in our society, and so introverts are often made outcasts. The freedom of listening is not simply the freedom to be aloud to listen, but the understanding that some wish to learn through attention paid to things heard. Someday, when being an introvert is no longer frowned upon, and others believe in the freedom of listening, you too could learn that you are also a Listener.
Points:
Time spent:
IP address:
Canary word: Present
Possible AI signals:
Original Text:
Are you sure you want to delete this comment? This cannot be undone.
Mark this comment as a review? Points will be awarded to the poster.
Your comment was posted, but it wasn’t long enough to count as a review. Reviews need about four complete sentences (at least 250 characters). Try writing another review that explains your thoughts in more detail — the author will appreciate it, and you’ll earn points for it.
139,618 Literary Works • 672,630 Reviews
greetings,
okay, to lighten things up let me relate to you a very popular statement among us likewise people ( seemingly i myself was having the same problems, with teachers telling my parents that i was the most inattentive student they ever saw) and that is if people ever say anything just answer : I'm not a recluse, I'm just playing hard to get with society
your essay is very precise and thought provoking. seemingly, the starting of an essay has to be both interesting, up-to the point and needs to set the purpose of the piece. yours did all this which is really good. your structure is neat and doesn't sway of to different directions. i actually enjoyed reading this.
Puck
Hi,
An interesting topic you bring up. I'm not sure if this relates to your topic, but I have a friend who classified introverts and extroverts in a slightly modified way.
An extrovert is someone who needs to interact with others in order to gain energy, while an introvert is someone who interaction with others only exhausts/drains them of any energy they have. Thus introverts like to energize by being alone.
Sorry, all randomness aside, and now I'll actually begin to review the piece.
" I have always known that class participation would never be a strong point of mine, but never did I think that it would be important."
-Although this sentence cuts straight to your point and introduces readers to the purpose of your essay, it doesn't quite manage to hook readers into your essay. On suggestions of how to make it more eye-popping, a simple trick is to draw your readers an image, perhaps of yourself as someone might view you in class. Now as to the actual sentence itself, I find it a little bit misleading. The way you word "but never did I think it would be important" implies you come to a new conclusion that yes, participation in class is important. On the contrary, your conclusion is "Someday, when being an introvert is no longer frowned upon, and others believe in the freedom of listening, you too could learn that you are also a Listener." In other words, you are trying to convince readers to understand that there too is an importance to listening. As a thesis, you may want to sharpen your road map so that readers will feel a purpose to your flow.
" A 10% class participation grade is set, and though I try, I simply cannot handle it. Even in the case of total understanding of the material, the highest grade I can achieve is a 90. The belief that I will learn through daily presentations both lowers my grade and reduces my understanding of the class topic. "
This chunk of information is unnecessarily wordy. And it doesn't quite add much to your paper. I think even if you were to write something such as, "For introverts, we are doomed to a glass ceiling of 90 points" it would suffice.
"My introverted habits wage war with the methods of my extroverted teacher." This is the sentence where we actually reach an opinion, a conflict of the paper that you are trying to write about. It takes a bit too long for the reader to reach this point. Furthermore, a more sensitive reader will be taken aback by the sudden tonal change of the essay. Before, you approach the subject of how unfair the school system leans towards extroverts with the example of the grade points/participation grade, but your tone is never vehement. In this sentence you use an aggressive phrase "wage war" and directly draw almost like a battle line between yourself (introvert) and your "extroverted teacher".
And then readers learn that your frustration is not with yourself, but with the extroverts around you who do not see you as normal. I think this is a topic that should be dealt with delicately. In fact, a more clear flow/chart/map of your essay would be to start with the assertion that a) you are an introvert quite at ease with yourself b) state that extroverts don't understand/respect introverts (at this point you can bring in your example of the unfair schooling system) and c) explain the merit of being an introvert, at which you would also resolve this conflict between introverts and extroverts you have been setting up in the previous paragraphs.
" While we, as people, are given the freedom of speech, we are much less often given the freedom of listening." - no comment here, beautifully written sentence.
Your last setence, "Someday, when being an introvert is no longer frowned upon, and others believe in the freedom of listening, you too could learn that you are also a Listener." has a reconciling tone that I feel should be maintained throughout the whole essay rather than just at the end, but I already mentioned that before.
Great draft and an interesting topic!
A really captivating piece of work. I noticed that you tend to use a single word too many times.
And the following line made little sense :
'Introverted they call me. Parents, teachers, and other classmates call me an introvert'
A few parts of the essay could be omitted but I also really liked the way you kept the plot of the essay in your hold which is a frequent mistake we all writers make.
I would also recommend you to try to put your sentences in a different manner. Such as this one :
'With my mind focussed on what I am going to say to the rest of the class, I cannot learn'
Your essay would sound much better with these changes. I myself being an introvert totally understand your point of view. All in all this essay was great, captivating and it has a lot of potential
I found this really interesting. I think you used the word "introvert" a few too many times, even if you were going for repetition, and I would suggest looking up some synonyms. Other than that I thought you put across your argument very well, particularly in the last paragraph by referencing our Freedom of Soeech, but not to listen. I personally love that some of my grade is participation as that is one of my stronger points, and I'm more often than not being told to talk less! I never really considered that other people may suffer because they learn in a different way, and I think this has opened my eyes a little and I think I'll try and consider people who are less outgoing next time I'm in my English class.
Overall, a very good essay. I hope you do well in your class despite the participation element!
This is really nice. I enjoy the fact you put this in a different perspective than what normal people see it as. I do the exact same thing as you (assuming that you wrote this from your point of view), I hardly ever participate in class. But we have our participation as a part of our grade, so I'm kind of forced to participate. A lot of the times I learn by listening, but other times I don't. It depends.
Anyway, writing-wise, I couldn't find any blatant grammatical errors, and your structure of this essay is neat. Great job with it!