the lady at the counter says my frames are broken,
says i need new glasses to wear,
new frames to keep them together and new lenses to see.
my father spoke in smashed dishware for years,
spoke in angry words and angry actions. he knew the language of lies and disguise
while i stared at the world with messed up eyes.
i wish i could change my perspective,
my eyes are nearsighted and farsighted, but i still get blindsided.
i hate my father but i’ll keep my eyes.
my father grabbed my brother when i was young.
held him down and screamed.
i saw my mother leaking one day, her face ashen with decay.
she swore at me with spiteful words,
when i first came out as gay
i go to my father’s almost every weekend now. he lives alone.
i don’t bring up the cost of new frames,
"what would you like to be called?" he asks.
he has changed a lot but i’ll keep my eyes.
a man followed me in the parking lot one day, his face worn and slightly gray,
my mother wasn’t there, was buying something. i can’t remember where.
she wasn’t there.
i wish i could change my perspective
my eyes are farsighted and nearsighted, but i still got blindsided.
i hate my mother but i’ll keep my eyes.
my father calls me by my name. my mother tries to do the same.
most of the time she fails.
i am alone with broken frames, no support and shaky names,
my friends all mean well, they do,
they don’t have a clue
my lenses need to be replaced, but my perspective’s fine.
it’s warped far beyond clarity,
it still holds familiarity.
the lady at the counter says my frames are broken,
i keep to myself what remains unspoken,
new frames to keep me together and new lenses to see
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139,905 Literary Works • 672,731 Reviews
Hello there. Just gonna give a review. It's personal thing for you, so I am not gonna say anything much. Also, you have cleared what was unclear through your reply to the previous review. So not much left to say.
I really liked the starting of the poem, which signifies the meaning of the title. I also liked that the poem is in rhythm for the most of the part. I also liked this line —
'my eyes are farsighted and nearsighted, but i still got blindsided.' Its repetition was well placed. The line which follow it both the times is very well phrased. I can't say what more to do. Really good work. Keep it up!!!!
Hi there geoffles! Niteowl here to review this poem. I'm going to try something a little different from my normal reviews and start by summarizing my interpretation of the poem, then going back and highlighting what I like and areas of improvement.
My first impression is that this is a piece attempting to cover several key events in the speaker's life and tie them all together with analogies to sight and glasses. It starts with talking about the father's abuse using quite clear language, but then moves to the speaker coming out first as gay and then transgender (this is more alluded to and less clear than the language about abuse). The father accepts this more than the mother does, which changes the speaker's perspective. Towards the end, the speaker laments their lack of support but doesn't want to change their perspective beyond the familiar. The first and last stanzas seem to be a metaphor for society saying the speaker's perspective on things is wrong. The repetition of "i'll keep my eyes" reinforces that the speaker is struggling to hold on to their perspective in a changing world that wants to erode their identity.
Overall, I think this poem has a good balance between being too broad (trying to write about life, the universe, and everything) and too specific. The pacing and the unfolding of the narrative seems pretty clear, unless I missed something major above.
This stanza is unclear to me as written. At first, I assumed the first line was referring to the father's abuse (and leaking blood), but then I realized it could be leaking tears in reaction to her child coming out as gay. Maybe re-ordering the lines would make the transition of subject here smoother.
This stanza feels out of place to me. It seems to be alluding to some sort of sexual harassment/assault, but there's no reference to it in the rest of the poem, so it feels strange and disrupts the flow. It's well-written, but I feel like building more on the themes of the speaker coming out as gay/transgender would make more sense in the piece.
To end on a positive note, I think you used rhyme and internal rhyme really well here. When I read this out loud, it felt really positive and flowed well.
Overall, this is a well-written piece that covers a lot of different themes, but through a unique perspective. Keep writing!
hi niteowl, thanks for reviewing. :>
i actually wrote this about stuff that's happened in my life. i was not a happy camper when i wrote this. at all. but you can probably tell from the poem. i was completely overwhelmed with the situation that life has put me in. unfortunately, abuse, and sexual assault kinda go hand in hand so that's actually why i included that bit about the man in the parking lot. Bad things come in complicated pairs that always follow close behind. that stanza is also there because it alludes to why i (misguidedly) hate my own mother, and leads into the part where "I got blindsided."
it's also important to note that my father's abuse affected everyone (of course), not just me. hence the bit about my mother's leaking. profound effects aside i can definitely see why that's confusing now that you pointed it out so i'll figure something out revision-wise. :>
anyway, your summary was pretty spot on, so kudos to you! thank you so much for reviewing! i was really unsure about posting this because it was so personal :00 then i realized it's the internet and therefore i'm a nobody so why not.
thanks for your kind review bud!
-Fox