Published June 14, 2011
They say happy endings never happen,
that love is just a fantasy.
They say no one's ever perfect,
or that we should try to change.
They say that soul mates never exist,
and every dream will end in pain.
But I'm already dreaming of,
sandy white beaches
blue skies
no one but you, sitting by my side.
And then I'm spinning round and round
in the truest fantasy I've ever dreamed.
They say sad stories,
are the right road to reality,
They say never give up,
but always be ready to fall.
They say never put your head,
where the rest of you can't follow.
But now I'm already stuck
In an endless story
with a prince in shining amour
and the perfect glass shoe.
Then I'm spinning round and round
in the best fairy tale ever written.
They say books should stay read,
and movies only watched.
That the real world should be kept separate from,
all the things we dream of.
This I know is true
But when I think of him
I'm bound by no set of rules
No tall lonely walls of reality
No boundaries of the truth
Instead I'm touching heaven
leaping through the skies
one day gravity will catch up,
but until then,
I'm spinning round and round
praying I won't ever stop
Points:
Time spent:
IP address:
Canary word: Present
Possible AI signals:
Original Text:
Are you sure you want to delete this comment? This cannot be undone.
Mark this comment as a review? Points will be awarded to the poster.
Your comment was posted, but it wasn’t long enough to count as a review. Reviews need about four complete sentences (at least 250 characters). Try writing another review that explains your thoughts in more detail — the author will appreciate it, and you’ll earn points for it.
140,229 Literary Works • 673,048 Reviews
I really like this poem. Many people write about heart break and how their heart gets destroyed or something, but this is a lovely difference to that. I cannot say much about the poem, so this probably not very helpful but I found this poem really cute. I loved the imagery and how people say one thing but you don't listen. I would choose my favourite verse, but I can't because I love them all.
Keep writing :c)
Hi there! I liked this poem. It had a sweet simplicity to it- most people write poems about how they
ll never find love, how it never exists. I tinge you counteracted that beautifully. It's nice to hear something positive.
A few things to keep in mind: Don't use first person articles to much: "I, you, we, they". Things like that make this little rant-like. Also, try to keep the font black. It's not a big deal as this is readable, but coloured fonts are distracting.
Also, remember to spell check! You had a few little mistakes, like "amour" instead of "armour". Just little things.
Overall, while writing love poems isn't original, this is a simple, sweet piece. The idea's clichéd, but you did a good job. Keep writing, and I hope to see more from you soon!
-Tori
oh hello again... apparently I've found all your posts in quick succession
I notice that you joined yesterday, so welcome! I've just come back from being the Prodigal Son myself, and I'm remembering everything I always loved about this site and you'll fit in in no time xD
Just something you should probably know - I see you've done two reviews: great! It's wonderful to go around and read what other people are writing and give back to them, because they might well be reviewing your work too. I'm not 100% on the current guidelines, but generally try to write 2-3 reviews for every one thing you post yourself - that way we all get lots of lovely feedback
You might also notice I'm padding out some information because I don't just want to say "lovely, really enjoyed it" because that's naff, but it's basically what I want to say. Poetry is so subjective, and (again) I admire your courage in putting this in the public domain. I will respect that and be nice, although I don't need to force that
two things:
I would nix the comma. Perfect without it
All the way up to here, you got a really nice metre going, nice and flow-y and pretty (like love - love it
"That the real world should be kept separate
From all the things we dream of."
So yeah - nice one. Welcome, great writing... yup that's everything
~*cottonrulz*~