this is a poem

Ummm, so hey! I like the rhythm in this poem. I like the words that you choose, because you do have a tendency to go with clear diction that can bring out the ideas in your mind pretty clearly.

But I'm really side-eyeing the topic of this poem. Really hard. Because I was okay with the reference to the chariot in the first stanza. It doesn't have to be taken the way of the hymnal, and could represent old greek mythology or something. But then you definitely take it down into slave territory. And I'm not saying writing about that topic is off limits completely, but it made me uncomfortable when the last couple stanzas took the liberty of speaking for those slaves, which you have no real idea of what their life was like, and said they had never FELT ALIVE until they were free.

Now, we both know that slavery was a terrible time, and that human rights were being ignored or not even though of at the time. And slavery still exists in places in the world, but I think it's almost parallel to saying that the slaves were animals and only really became people once they were recognized and freed, which is, I think, not at all the message you would portray if you knew that's how it came off. Yeahh~

So hopefully that opens your eyes a little bit to a potential problem. I love that you want to deal with strong issues, but be aware of every kind of implication!

PM me if you have any questions or comments about my review.
Good luck and keep writing!

Hello there,

This certainly is a poem, one I found to be a very pleasant read. It lacks punctuation and capitalization, two things that are critical to writing any piece of literature, but I'm not sure that the poem suffers without them. The absence conveys a relaxed feel, and the lines themselves add to that. Calling out the allusion so openly was something I appreciated, because I never would have gotten it without your direction.

Keep writing!

This is such a beautiful poem! I had goosebumps! I particularly liked the second stanza and the image of the chariot flying across the sky, which like for IHI, gave me the image of Apollo. The last line was amazing too!
^^

this is a poem , which definitely rises your interest on poetry to next phase

Hello there! Your poem is fine actually. I like the repetition of 'this is a poem' but I don't really understand the point you are getting at. I suggest you might use situations or concrete words that could illustrate the true emotions or imagination you want to portray. You can also add a little touch of your experience so that we readers would be able to relate. There's always a room for improvement but you did a good job

I like the repeated phrase "this is a poem". On the other hand I think the format of the poem would look better if you capitalized all the words at the beginning of every line. Also I don't know if you meant this or not but I was thinking of the greek god Apollo while I read this. Was that intended or not? It would be great if you reply to this review and tell me. Oh, maybe a period or a comma at the end of every stanza might make it look better too maybe? I'm not that good at finding the deeper meaning in poems or at grammar but I hope this helps.