Young Writers Society

I felt like I was there reaching for the light my self, and when I got to the end only to find that the light has escaped from my grasp, it did make me feel kind of sad. I guess we could all use a fresh start at some point in our lives. Enough of me going on about me though, I did like how you used your starting few limes to end it. I believe they all wet perfectly together. Don't mind my crappy typing and all my typos as I am typing this in the dark. Keep up the good work. I'll be looking forward to you writing more in the near future.

Wow! This really surprised me. I did not expect that in the end would be darkness. I felt as if I where right there with the writer. I was truly captivated in the moment. You clearly have talent and I hope I see more of your work. Keep it up!

I really like this. You did a great job at using imagery in this poem. The reader can perceive the darkness perfectly and can tell that the person in this poem is straining for the light. At first I thought this poem might be about someone who is blind or lost their eyes. I think this was because of the line
"it is what I see, what I perceive. Through these empty sockets"
but as a read on I began to think it was about much more. Personally I saw the poem as being about someone who is slipping further and further into depression. That is just my interpretation though. I would love to now what your intentions for this poem were.

Over all I really enjoyed it.

Keep writing
-ang920

I love the idea and the story you're telling. The idea of seeing a light but getting darkness upon reaching it speaks to me. And it gives me the idea that the darkness is really within us. The "empty sockets" gives me this feeling of hopelessness and inability to perceive light/hope/happiness etc. Anyway, I love it! Keep writing!

xoxo S

Hey! It's me...reviewing...your work...

I really liked this poem but I think one thing that I would change is, instead of bolding the word 'darkness' I think it would not only would it look better, it will also just add a more chilling feel to the poem, if you just space out the word darkness. Like this:

"D a r k n e s s"

Doesn't that look cool xD ^^

I really liked how you repeated the beginning of the poem. It felt like halfway through the poem I got sort of bored and you lost my attention. I feel like you regained it at the end though.

I hope my review was satisfactory,
Alice ♥

I like this poem a lot. The story repeating the beginning is one of my favorite things to read. The imagery is really good and I think this is very easy to relate to. I get very easily, as someone that has dealt with depression, what the poem is describing. I think this offers a different point of view. Many people don't talk about people who are upset finding a way within themselves to get better. Most authors rely on therapists, family, and friends. An insight into how a specific person is feeling and dealing with their issues in their head is very deep and unique. Well done!

Hello there!
Saw that this is lonely with zero reviews and comments in the green room, so I thought that I may at least tell you about my own honest opinion.
I do not think you need to correct anything in this poetry. Ever if here and there we had problems with the punctuation. You could put commas on some places but it is not 100% needed so I will not say it like it is such a big deal. I like the way you start.
The second time that you had started with the same line as the first time it got me interested and I thought it is going to be something different after all. In the end, at least in my opinion, it has dots in the end because you had understood this light will never come and embrace you.
Sometimes in our life we are alone. And it happens to every single one of us in at least one period in our entire lives. The darkness embraces us and we think there is no hope. This work is really sad and emotional. I really like it and I hope to see more of your work in style same to this one. I am sorry that this review does not help you but I think you need to know someone is proud of you.