Young Writers Society

A/N: This was not written to offend. Also, if you haven't read the first part, you kind of need to do that for context. Please excuse the bad formatting. YWS doesn't like script formatting and it didn't copy over even the italics. So a lot of the stage direction is not in italics. 

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Scene 3

Back at the Deadmans' house. Mother and Father are sitting on either side of Morty on the couch c.

MOTHER

There's something we want to tell you, Morty.

FATHER

It's something we've been meaning to tell you for a while.

MOTHER

But the time never seemed right...

MORTY

Okay, what is it?

MOTHER

well...

FATHER

er...

MORTY

guys?

FATHER

Morty, well... you're adopted.

another showstopper song. between the mother and father. only words are "you're adopted" confetti cannons etc.

MORTY

What?!

THELMA

from backstage

Really Morty, one would think you were going deaf!

MORTY

You obviously aren't.

MOTHER

we're really sorry we never told you before now, but it just wasn't right to never let you know. And now with this cancer thing sneaking up so suddenly, well...

FATHER

I hope you understand, son.

Mother and Father leave. Morty looks incredulous, then his expression shifts to thoughtful.

MORTY

I think every kid thinks at some point he's adopted. Though I never quite believed it of myself... huh. I wonder who my real mother is. Maybe she's been looking for me!

THELMA

from off stage

I doubt it. Who would look for you?

MORTY

struggles for a reply before shaking his head and walking out the door.

Scene 4

In front of curtain. An elderly woman snapping bubble gum behind a desk, Morty standing at the desk.

MARA

Jes' swab yer cheek an put it in the bag, hon.

MORTY

does so.

MARA

passes the bag to a hand that appears from behind the curtain.

Now we jes gotta wait. Whatcha in here for?

MORTY

oh, I recently found out I was adopted.

MARA

You wanna meet your family huh. Well that's sweet.

MORTY

Yeah.

MARA

You know, I've been looking for a long lost child of my own. I never thought I would be a good mother, but maybe now that they're grown up, we can be friends.

MORTY

I hope you find your child. When can I expect the results?

MARA

two to three weeks.

DOCTOR THATCHER

Actually, that's not quite true.

MORTY

Doctor Thatcher?! You work here too?

DOCTOR

Yeah... I have three jobs to pay off my student loans. Anyway, I know who your mother is.

MORTY

You do?

DOCTOR

Yes. Mara, meet you biological son.

MARA

What?

THELMA

Deafness must run in the family.

DOCTOR

We found you mother so easily because we've been working to find her child as well.

MORTY

Then you finally found him! We're finally reunited!

MARA

But I had a daughter... Oh wait, I remember. I had a son too. But I've really been searching for my daughter.

THELMA

I told you no one was looking.

MORTY

Ah, it doesn't matter. How serendipitous is it that my biological mother was the receptionist at the clinic I decided to go to?

THELMA

I'd say not very. This is a comedic musical after all. They have to keep the plot moving.

MORTY

what?

THELMA

Oh never mind. You'd be too deaf to hear the explanation.

MARA

Yes, I remember... I celebrated you birthday for a while every July 19th. I made a little cake and-

MORTY

Wait, July 19th? My birthday is July 30th!

DOCTOR

That might be what they told you because they didn't know what day you were born.

MARA

That's right. I dropped him off at a fire station with no name no birthdate, no nuthin. They must have guessed his birthday.

THELMA

You all see what this means, don't you?!

MORTY

What?

THELMA

Do try to listen Morty, or we really will need to get hearing aids for you.

MORTY

What does it mean, I mean.

THELMA

It means, of course that you are not a Libra like I had thought. You're a Cancer!.

MORTY

I know you don't like me, but do you really have to call me a cancer in front of everyone? And I'm quite sensitive to names like that now that I've been diagnosed.

THELMA

No, no, you don't understand. You're a crab!

MORTY

That's a little better, but I still don't see why you're insulting me in front of my mother?

THELMA

No, no, NO! Your zodiac symbol is cancer, the sign of the crab! This explains everything! I only married you because I thought you were a Libra. Libras and Geminis like me are very compatible, but Leos and Cancers are one of the worst combinations. No wonder we have so many problems in our marriage.

MORTY

Groans.