Marked

This is seriously a really good piece. I don't find a lot of pieces like these on here, or anywhere really. I love the point of view you had with the man and the woman, how you had him pay attention to details, how the city calms him, etc. I don't really have a lot of specific areas I would point out for you to improve on.

But I'll do my best.

Some would say the city is a place to be avoided -especially at night- but I disagree. You have to be alone, completely alone, to appreciate the beauty of a street light. To truly understand the orchestra that is formed when an ambulance, fire engine and police car race past you at the same time. It’s perfect; it’s my drug. Despite what people may have you believe, it’s my only drug. No-one understands why the city pulls me in, why it’s magnetic forces anchor me to it’s pavements and roads and houses. I don’t want them to understand; people are a waste of time. You see, the city can’t hurt you but people can.

Your opening paragraph is really strong and has a great hook. It takes you directly into the mind of the main character. Well done on a great beginning. A lot of writers can't pull it off, but you managed to.

I like it specifically at this time of night, when it’s just past midnight and the only people left in the city are the drunks, drug addicts, party animals and scum. Not that I socialize with them. To be honest, I like to watch them, analyze every move they make.

I love the first line of this set, mainly because it's so out there. The second one catches me a little off guard though. It's as if you throw out a great concept, and then you're reeling it back in at an inconvenient time.

I like it specifically at this time of night, when it’s just past midnight and the only people left in the city are the drunks, drug addicts, party animals and scum. Not that I socialize with them. To be honest, I like to watch them, analyze every move they make

I like this piece a lot. This scene adds a little bit of realism to the entire thing, which I love.

What are men like me? What category do I belong in?

This little piece of the character's brain is great. This develops him a little more. Be careful though that you're not losing the entire image of him throughout the story. Towards the beginning, you set him off as a guy who liked to watch people as they stumbled through life (literally) and not get involved in a helpful way (at least from what I inferred). Towards the middle, I read about a guy who is starting to be the victim in the situation with the woman. Either keep the same concept of the character throughout the entire piece, or make the transition a bit smoother.

“You’re running away.” She’s right.
“I’m leaving.” A closed truth; she doesn’t need to know where I’m going or why.
“It’s the same thing.”

I do enjoy this woman's bold behavior. Yowza.

A shining, white ambulance races past me so fast that most people would only recognize it as a blur. I know different because I know ambulances are an important piece in life’s jigsaw.

This is good, but the only part I would look over is where I know different part. Was it because of what others' recognized it as a blur instead of an ambulance? Or was it because they didn't care to know why it was a blur? I'm a little confused on the concept you wrote, so can you please go into a little more detail about it?

But I don’t what the emotions are. If I did, I could fix it but I‘m ignorant.

This applies to the throw out, reel in thing I mentioned above. With this one, it's smoother and doesn't bring you out of the story. Look back to this example when you're refining the other one.

I’m dragged forward by my traitorous feet and study my hand as it grabs hold of the woman’s arm and throws her onto the curb beside me.

I like the way you described him saving her life. Especially the traitorous feet part. Original-I like.

In a nutshell, it was awesome. A lot of the things I pointed out were a bunch of nit-picky things, and were things I wouldn't have noticed if I hadn't read over this more than once (which I did). I believe you have a fairly good piece as it is. One final thing I would like to point out would be the ending. It's good, but it seems like it's in the wrong place, if that makes sense. It feels like either the story should continue, or that the ending should be a little earlier in the story. Maybe that's just me, but that's just another little piece of input.

If you were to develop this idea into a series of short stories/novel, I would definitely love to read it! If you have any questions about this review, PM me and I'll do my best to answer your questions. If you have any more pieces like this or any that need reviewing, feel free to PM me! Good job, and keep writing!