Published September 14, 2011
"Where's your uniform?" The hated phrase brought Spirit to wakefulness.
She eyed the impertinent trooper, long and hard. When he didn't flinch, she snarled in his face. "This one paid all of ten drakes for a room of her own. She suggests that you leave- now." He must've been a new recruit like herself, for he recoiled.
Then again, there was nothing quite like a tousle-furred, angry Khajiit.
Points:
Time spent:
IP address:
Canary word: Present
Possible AI signals:
Original Text:
Are you sure you want to delete this comment? This cannot be undone.
Mark this comment as a review? Points will be awarded to the poster.
Your comment was posted, but it wasn’t long enough to count as a review. Reviews need about four complete sentences (at least 250 characters). Try writing another review that explains your thoughts in more detail — the author will appreciate it, and you’ll earn points for it.
I was intrigued by this, unfortunately however, I have to agree with ItIsLove on the fact that it is way too short. I think that it would more as a quote for the blurb of a book. Do keep writting though because I think that you have great potential. The idea of a Khajiit, if it's what I think it is (a cat like humaniod, as seen in The Elder Scrolls Games), is very good although for someone who dosen't know what it is it may be confusing. I believe this story as a whole, once completed, will be a fantastic read.
I think you are a brilliant writer; what you had was really interesting but, there was no story.
I think you need to add a lot more detail and a plot before you post. I understand if it is short but this was too short.
I would really like to read more of your work and hopefully you will add more to this. Don't forget to check out my literary work. Thank you!