Published November 29, 2010
Hideous nights weather the soul
One day under the surface of a stoic face emotions writhe,
tortured by the burning pain and longing
they scream for a second life
Perceptive ears hear
Everything will be okay; resurrected by another’s love
they are no longer lost or alone
Hopefully this is not horrible.I am sure there are alot of things in this poem that you can help me improve upon.
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140,602 Literary Works • 673,549 Reviews
I love this
xxx
It's very... dark
With a happy ending.
SO my style
Hideous nights weather the soul One day under the surface of a stoic face emotions writhe,tortured by the burning pain and longingthey scream for a second lifePerceptive ears hear Everything will be okay; resurrected by another’s love they are no longer lost or alone
this poem is good it just needs a little twiking. im not sure what writhe is but if its wither you spelled it wrong. the hear should be italics to emphis on it
Sorry for lateness, I've been hospital for some while and I've been working to, time is just not my friend. Here is your review nonetheless.
Something tells me this isn't a play on words but the wrong weather. It should be whether, that makes more sense. Probably just a little slip up on my part, maybe it is supposed to be a pun.
Comma needed to break apart sentence. No biggy, I make the mistake all the time.
Full stop here. I'm not sure you're supposed to use full stops in poems, but I think its needed. I'm no good at poetry, don't blame me and my dumbness.
This was a very sweet poem and I loved it. A few little errors but they can easily be fixed up with a little paint remover and elbow grease. I love the way you used sophisticated words, it gave the poem a mysterious air or that could just be my fan...I joke, it was the poem. You're very talented, keep going with poetry, you can become big like me one day kiddo!
Even though I haven't written one little poem in my life (excluding the one in the signature). Now, you can't say your bad because I give poetry a bad name.
Apple.
I just read your poem and I think we have two very different versions of hope but that is okay. Have a good day and thank you for reviewing my poem. Fiction
Oh my God! I have just posted a poem called 'just hope' and it appeared first on the list of zero comments, and your appeared second, and I think they really are about the same thing!
I really liked your one, it touches on a another facet of the issue that mine didn't touch on at all.
So it touched me deeply, but maybe I'm biased haha.
One thing I can say is that it's very abstract and maybe you could give more imagery? Just a suggestion
Hope this helps.