Warning: This work has been rated 16+.
It comes loose.
The force of a thick heart choked in the strangle of morality.
__________________________________________________________________________________
Lips upon my neck.
Soft breath,
Soft fingers.
Low murmur. "Where?"
"Here."
The goading need to touch.
The warmth of bodies so alive.
Oh so alive.
Brazen gaze,
Teary eyed.
Pleasure.
__________________________________________________________________________________
Who am I?
I am need. I am want. I am desire.
You close your eyes and see me. The red vision dance behind your lids.
You hear me in every exhausted breath. Every hot groan.
You relax yourself and feel me. The touches and nudges tightening in you.
You taste me in the salt of skin. Every pool of sweat.
Who am I?
I am release. I am fear. I am loneliness.
__________________________________________________________________________________
My heart bruising.
Crushed,
And poisoned.
The soft giggles
Are mine.
Why laugh?
What is need?
Does it feel like this?
Does it envelope
Every atom of being?
Does it burn
Like the end of the earth?
Why, then is it cold?
Why do I feel this way?
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Canary word: Present
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125,008 Literary Works • 672,820 Reviews
I was looking for something I could give my first review to. And, I found your work. For first, I have to say, I did not expect much when I read the subtitle. I thought it will be some hipster kind of writing, some pseudo artistic crap. Well, I was really surprised!
I really love the way you are working with words, it's more like playing some musical instrument than just writing them and that's great. It sounds natural and not forced.
A bit erotic and I'd say, well handled. It has its atmosphere of passion, its piece of secret that requires imagination, it forced me to put myself into the poem and I loved it!
When the psychological part came in all I thought about was "Well timed, very well timed!".
Myself, I'd end the second verse just like it started, with question, but that's the matter of writer.
Summarized, I just read great piece of a poetry. Looking forward to more of your work!
Wow. Thank you soso much! I'm feeling very honored right now. I'm your first review??? Man, that's exciting. Thank you so much for your sweet feedback and encouragment <3 !!!!
*salutes*
Here for a review, and a review I will give to this wonderfully penned work.
I'm not much of a poetry buff to criticize your work on the technical parts, sorry to disappoint you in advance if that was what you were looking for. But, I do have an ear for poems and I could tell you how I felt about this one.
I loved the innuendos here, the passion and significance of each line. Also how this sort of makes a story with the flow and how it changes from a lustful point of view in the beginning then ending up with a bunch of questions as if in doubt in the end. The ending of the third stanza was really a twist! But I really salute you for bringing that up though: that some misunderstood passions may sprout from fear and loneliness.
The tempo of this piece is also commendable, good job! Just reading it churns the heart in a different way, this piece bursting with an unknown lingering passion that one has yet to tame and decipher!
Again, praise for your words! Well chosen to stir up your thoughts!
Hope this was of help! Good luck with your other writings!
-Waltzing