--Coming Dusk--

Hello there, fantasywriterm! I could be mistaken, but I'm pretty sure you're new to this site. I'm pretty recent to it, and I hope you like it as much as I do!
Anyway, on to the reviewing. It's rather short, so not much can really be said. However, it is a really pleasant poem. You seem to be a really good poet, especially if you're just beginning. One of my recommendations though is to maybe make some poems that are a little longer. It might also be a pain to spend 250 points on just a shot poem. Rather than that, I didn't really see a problem with this poem. It's really pretty though, and I can't wait to see what new pieces you come up with!
~Prez. T

I love this poem simply for it's small length and simplicity. What's more is that most of the lines are pretty easy to follow and the patter you tried to establish isn't smothering. For several lines, I had to read through a second time to keep from being confused.

Because of the short length, the rhymes work together (my teacher made me a rhyming pessimist for most poetry...) especially in the little differences I visually see. "bird" and "stirred" sound the same but when looking at them one on the other, they don't seem too... heavy? The rhyme doesn't jump rudely is what I'm saying. Also, "rush" and "hushed" are just different enough to make the rhymes better.

The first line is nice. "Faded Lilac of lilac and sleeping bird of bird" runs nicely, but while I understand the first half, the second is... weird? It feels almost unnecessary. The repetition works and the sound when read aloud is kind to the ear, but I lost the meaning simply in the straight forwardness of it. The same goes for "Twig of the snap". I know what you want to say, but unlike "wind of the rush" which works when visualized in the mind's eye (something moving quickly), that doesn't really. I know it's just a switch of words for poetic effect, but it reads funny.

This all said, the visuals I get are very strong over all, especially in those last two lines. I'm actually going to tell you that... I really don't like poetry all that much, but this is short and sweet and you aren't trying to hard. That's why I like this.

If this is off that top of your head, I really want to see work that is carefully planned out.

Hey there! CaptainSaltWater here for a review!

I liked it. Instead of doing the whole poem in boldface you could leave it as it is typed and as shown. Also, in your title, get rid of the hyphens. It isn't very attractive that way. And also, get rid of the signature. That is also unattractive. Also, the title on top of your poem, get rid of that. It is supposed to be simple. You just jumbled up a bunch of words together. Otherwise, great job! It describes so many things! I want to see more by you. Don't give up and always write!

-CaptainSaltWater

Happy review day!