Fallen

                                                              CHAPTER ONE

 Do you know whats worth fighting for, when its not worth dieing for, does it take your breath away, and you feel yourself sufficating, does the pain weigh out the pride, and you look for a place to hide, did someone break your heart inside, your in ruins

    One 21 guns, lay down your arms, give up the fight

    One 21 guns, throw up your arms, into the sky

    You and I

   A tear ran down my cheak as I stared at the ground silently singing the song in my head. I felt like I had been sufficating ever since my family died, it wasn't a fire or a car accident but murder. I was an orphan, well I thought so even if I was moving in with my mom. But I might as well be one since she doesn't care about me. I hadn't heard from her for 12 years, since I was 5 and my dad got cusidy of me. She's changed, well her looks have but when i parked the car in front of the address she gave me I remember the house. My grandparents, I was kind of suprised that they were still alive. I yank my suitcases from the back and make my way to the door. There were voices coming from inside and I hesitate as i near the steps. Threw the  window I see my grandparents sitting down in the kitchen and a girl and boy about my age laughing. I wipe the last tear from my cheak as I study the the two teenagers, the girl was a couple pounds over curvy with black hair. The boy was more of a man with sharp features and black hair that hung over his eyes. He wasn't laughing but a small smile hung on his face, he didn't have any features in commen with anyone else in the room which made since because the girl was staring admiringly at him when ever he wasn't looking. I stopped and stared at them. This is what it'd been like when my family ever gathered before our last one, laughing, screaming, games. It was hard watching them like this, the family that never really was mine threw the window. Knowing that I was one of them as soon as they saw me, it was like finding a lost twin but instead of joy and excitement I felt dreadful. I force myself to swallow my tears and push the sarrow down until I felt empty. A women that looked around forty came into the kitchen and said something that made them all look out the window. They looked at me with suprise and the women rushed out of the the house.

       "Deryn, don't just stand there come in." The women tries to take my suitcases.

       " I think I can manage." I snap at her.

     She freezes then steps back with a hurt look on her face. She nods and walks towards the house, leading me down the hall to a room at the very end of the hall." You'll have to share a room with your sister." The women turns around and leaves. I stare after her, knowing I'd hurt her and we wouldn't be the happy mother and daughter sort. I didn't want that anyways. I turn away and turn the handle and step into the room, two beds   stood on oppesite ends of the room. One with a dark figure on top, I assumed my sister and the other one had a neatly folded blankets on top. I walk over to that bed and line my suit cases up against the wall without glancing at her. She was the only one that I actually talked to but that stopped two years ago when I got to busy with friends and school to actually write to her. She gets up and walks out of the room, I flop on the bed. Glad to be alone again, i started unpacking then. It took me about 20 minutes to actually get organized, then I sat on my new made bed with my pencil poised over the lined paper. I was already far in the book i was writing but I couldn't concentrate with the noise in the house. I stare at the page letting my wall come down and letting the images of there dead bodies lieing on the floor, blood spilling on the floor and covering the walls. I see the man that killed them look around, I stayed perfectly still. Trying not to cry because of the pain in my arm. He walks over to me and studies me for a minute before running out of the house. I remember gritting my teeth and pushing myself up off the floor and walking to the phone. Remember the ambulances coming to get my family, only to find them dead. Then the police putting the yellow tape around the house and the neighbors watching as I  they dragged me to the gurny. I kept screaming and kicking, yelling for me to see my family and the whole time they watched me in dismay, already knowing what I had tried to deny.

     " Deryn." My mom called. 

    I heave my self up and take a minute to compose my self, wipe the sadness, lonelyness, everything from my face and peak into the hall."Yes"

    "Come, I'll introduce you to your family." Her mom motions with her hands to come.

   I hesitate before walking to her, I shove my hands in my sweater as we enter the kitchen where everyone was at. They all quieted when they noticed who My mom brought back, I stare back at them. My grandparents smiled at me and the girl looked between Mom and I suprised as did my sister. The guy pushed himself up on the counter and studied me. Up close he was even more handsome, gorgeaus was more like it. I drew my gaze away from his and looked back at my mom threw my bangs. She knew I wouldn't say anything to them, so she went ahead. " Uh, Ashton this is my daughter Deryn."  Ashton nods and I felt a familiar ring to his name like i've heard it before.

    "Deryn you remember your cousin and sister, Alice and Kyra." I nod and start to space out and stare off into space when I realize someone was talking to me.

   "Huh."

   " I said you look a lot like Janet." Alice says annoyed.

   "Oh, really?"

   "Ya, really." She says sarcasticly.

   I raise my hidden eyebrows when she says it."  Um, ok." I say with a cold, harsh voice which made her look taken back and wiped the smirk right of the her pudgy face. I smile in my head and go back to retreating into my head until she interrepts me again.

   "What" I snap, annoyed.

    " You must feel lonely." She says with an inaccent look.

    " What?"

    " Well you only have us since your other family was killed." She smirks at my narrowed eyes." Was it horrible, lieing there not able to do anything when that man killed your little cousins you dad." Everthing had gone quiet and I was careful to keep my face blank even though I felt like I'd been puched. I was speach less." Do you think it's your fault that they died while you did nothing? While you layed down pretending to be dead when your family was begging for their life when you still had yours." I grit my teeth at the silence and silently will myself not to cry." God, it must've been a nightmare and the funeral. Knowing that they didn't die a peaceful death but a brutal one." I feel my temper come then, at having to listen to this stupid girl talk about my family." Of course, it was probably no accident that they were killed. God probably had it out for them." She laughs while everyone stareds at me, Kyra shooting daggers at Alice." You probably wish you were dead to, your not the only one trust me. Did your neighbors take pitty on you? Did you take it, I bet you did. This is probably all a-"

    "Shut up" I say quietly.

    She continues"-n act, isn't it?"

    " I said SHUT UP!" I yell. That shuts her up" You know whatever you say won't hurt me" I say harshly. She looks over at Ashton, frightened but he was glaring at her." And stop begging for attention just because i'm here doesn't mean i'll take it all away from you. Oh and don't be so jealous." I add, loud enough for Ashton to hear. Her face reddens as I turn around, I hear her before she throws herself at me. I step out of the way, letting her stumble past me. She turns around, obviously angry and charged me again. At the last minute I duck under her clumbsy flying fist and step around her. I shove her against the wall and grab her wrist, twisting it painfully behind her fat body. Alice gasps in pain when I push it a little higher. I lean closer to her" Ya my Dad taught me that and other things so next time before you decide to throw your fat body at me think about it." I whisper in her ear then shove her away to a waiting Ashton. He looks like he's going to catch her but then moves, sending her flying into my mom. I look back up at him and see him regarding me threw narrowed eyes. I hold them, trying to make out there color but they were hidden under his hair like mine. But I probably looked like the Ring while he looked like a fallen angel. I turn away first aware of his truimph smile before I close the door to Kyra's room. I stand against it for a minute and stare into the darkness forcing myself to swallow the tears that creaped up my throught. I let out a shaky breath and walk to my new bed.

       "Wow she really got to you didn't she?"

     I jerk up and look at the owner of the voice, Kyra of course. I say nothing, not wanting to admit to it. "Its ok, she knew she would if she talked about it directly to you."

    I lay back down"Why" is all i say.

   "Because she didn't expect u to be pretty so she wanted to make you look weak."

    I laugh" That back fired"

    Kyra laughs and flops down on her bed and soon her breathing slowed and she was asleep. I stare at the ceiling for a while and start to let go of reality when I feel a presence at the door. I slip out of bed quietly and walk to the door. Standing in the hallway was Alice and Ashton, he shoved her at me and glared at her. She looks at me and grimances at my hard look. "Say it" Ashton snaps.

   " OK,OK. I'm sorry Deryn." She spits out.

    " Oh, wonderful apolegy." I say sarcasticly which got me a glare from her before she stomped away. I smile and turn around looking at Ashtun as I closed the door.