you've blocked me
this probably means you hate me
except, i haven't done anything to make you hate me
in fact, for the past 10 years, all i've done is to try and make you like me
so after 10 years, you let a stupid lie change the way you think about me
i didnt even have anything to do with the lie
Fey did
fey was the one who said bad things about you
and sure, i'd agree with her sometimes
but i never talked to anyone about it
so you think that because fey said it, i must have said it too?
so you think lies are the truth?
you probably do because you are a liar
and dont call me a bully because i said that
its the truth
but you're a liar
so you cant handle the truth
why am i friends with you
did i become friends with you because i thought it would make me look cooler?
no
because all you've done is make everyone think im nothing
dont belive me?
say somthing about me to your friends
they'll probably laugh and roll their eyes
because Alison White is nothing
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125,008 Literary Works • 672,832 Reviews
I think his may be good if u were writing a poetic novel and we knew who the people were and who you were but this isn't a personal diary entry site. Do you have more material to accompany this u need some. Good job with the line breaks. Hey though your new and I'm pretty used to this place so keep it up!
Yeah, the reader isnt really supposed to know what it's about. It's just something you can jump into and figure out what's happening. Then in the end you're kinda like, "Ohhh...I see now" XD I dunno, I wrote this when I was really angry...But that's when the best writing happens
Hi Eyetart.
I am here to review, as requested. I won't go around putting frosting on this, for I will try to make it as concise and clear as possible.
I'll start off by saying that I don't get why you placed the text to the right, it only distracts the reader. Also, the first five lines end in "me", and variety is essential, because I don't think your purpose is to bore the reader... or, is it? Being completely honest, this looks more like your journal than anything! You didn't show how the whole situation made you feel... I'd say it lacks creativity; you just told the typical little school-story. The grammar is weak. You need to capitalize where it's needed. All I's should be capitalized when it comes to a pronoun, and if "Frey" is a name, the first letter should be capitalized too. Not to mention that you forgot apostrophes in various words.
Summarizing my opinion, I'd say that this is the sketch of what you want to tell; the main idea of the project. But in order for this to be better, you have to express it in a way that leaves me no other option than to be empathetic with you.