I'll make you regret the day you gave up on me.-DAR

by eversodarling

Published October 5, 2013

In Poems

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You left me with no words at all

Aren't you man enough to make a simple call?

To inform me what went wrong

Or maybe why we didn't last that long.

You gave no clear closure

Everything for me was vague and unsure

In fact, before you decided to walk away

I'm already planning to go yet I chose to stay.

I have tried everything, anything

I even set aside myself, my being

Tried my best to work things out

When I know there's nothing left to fight about.

Now, look at me and watch...

You've lost someone who cared too much

Someone who could have given you the universe

Yet you chose to give up, we became ex lovers.

I assure you, nobody's gonna take my place

You can't just pick someone for a replace

I'm extra-ordinary and that's a fact

You can be sorry but you can never have me back.

Comments & reviews · 7
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khrisnacomia Comment
khrisnacomia commented Comment · Oct 7, 2013

Dar! Take Care.

WOW ENGLISH< KHRISNA hahahaha :D

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abnat22 Review
abnat22 wrote a review Review · Oct 6, 2013

Hi eversodarling.

I was very impressed with this piece. It portrays hurt, but I like that punch of strength at the end. This is ironically exactly what I am going through at the moment, what you describe. Thank for the inspiration. :)

I like that the rhythm isn't completely stable and predictable. Its rocky and it stumbles a little. And that's fine.

I particularly enjoyed lines... one through four, thirteen and fourteen and of course the ending.

Thanks for sharing, and thanks again for being an inspirational writer. Keep up the good work.

If you have any questions or otherwise feel free to let me know.

;)

~abnat22

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spinelli
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spinelli wrote a review Review · Oct 5, 2013

My heart is full of good intention and you are surely a beautiful butterfly, so don't take these words in a harsh way. Maybe if this were put to some sassy music, I'd be more impressed. But otherwise, it sort of blends into the rest of the love-gone-wrong genre of poetry. You're strong in grammar and rhyming, but phrasing can be inconsistent and the main idea is just sort of a generic statement. I suppose in the truest sense, it's a decent, clear poem. But when I see poets with that strong structural understanding, I want to urge them to puuussh something extraordinary out! Reveal the truest, innermost contents of your heart, in the figurative sense.

It's decent, yes, but there are plenty of decent poems in the world.

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miajaneboo Comment
miajaneboo commented Comment · Oct 5, 2013

nice :) you can be a writer someday :)

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Liaya
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Liaya wrote a review Review · Oct 5, 2013

Well done! Your words flow great and your rhythm is amazing, and you manage to portray a rather unfortunate event and still somehow manage to sound positive. I especially like your last two lines! :) Normally I'd complain about your lack of commas or other punctuation at the end of your lines (all you use are periods) but I think it actually works for this poem. Great job!

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Nanethpunzalan Comment
Nanethpunzalan commented Comment · Oct 5, 2013

wow, you can really write well. keep on writing my dear :)

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splendidsay Comment
splendidsay commented Comment · Oct 5, 2013

A very emotional poetry and I really like it! Keep up the good job! :)



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