Warning: This work has been rated 16+.
I gazed at the amber horizon
Where the sky and the ocean brace
Forming an unbreakable bond
Of friendship and peace
An array of kaleidoscopic flowers
That swayed on the lemon green grass
Enchanted a swarm of insects
Freely as they pass
A harmonious melody of birds
Sent a soothing tune to my ear
Altered abruptly to a screech
Terrified by a gun shot near
I turned around to heed
And observed several faces unseen
Some showed laughter, others groaned
A sign of injustice and hands unclean
Toys replaced with guns
Desperate cries of children unheard
Empathy is just a mere word
Intelligence is repeatedly stirred
Independent men still enslaved
Not iron chains but evil schemes
Young women a victim of foulness
Aggrieved hearts and silent screams
A world of conflict bestowed
While nature craves Harmony
What use of mind blowing gadgets?
When peace no longer exists in humanity
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Canary word: Present
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125,020 Literary Works • 672,861 Reviews
I love the way you express how the world has no peace ,your poem really spoke to me . Specially stanza 7 when it speaks about how man are enslaved by evil schemes . your poem identify what the world is going through its rare to find peace in this world . I really enjoyed this poem I love it .You are really talented
I'm glad you liked the poem. I cherish your feedback.
I love the way you express how the world has no peace ,your poem really spoke to me . Specially stanza 7 when it speaks about how man are enslaved by evil schemes . your poem identify what the world is going through its rare to find peace in this world . I really enjoyed this poem I love it .You are really talented
Wow, you've done a very amazing work by writing a very important side of the world, I do like the way you brought up the words and touched my heart. KEEP IT ON.
Thank you, do keep reading and sharing your views.
Very deep and quite true. War just brings disturbance and chaos. At times it is a necessary evil - but still remains evil. So many lives lost, so many families broken. I really treasure your poem. It is a great piece and really rings true. Keep writing!
-Shieldmaiden
Thank you! I appreciate your feed back. Do keep reading!
Hi there!
First off, I LOVE THIS POEM! It is so true, so accurate, I love it. Secondly, welcome to YWS! I hope you enjoy it here. This won't be much of a review, because I honestly don't have much to offer. Again, really love this poem. I will point out the one thing that I found a little confusing, and that is there are parts of this poem that are written and sound like present tense, and other times it sounds past and present. I honestly think it's cool, I do like how you mixed it, but other people could find it really confusing, I think. A good example would be this paragraph right here:
"An array of kaleidoscopic flowers
Swaying on the lemon green grass
Enchanted a swarm of insects
Freely as they pass"
The "enchanted a swarm of insects" Sounds past tense, which doesn't fit in with the rest of the verse. Maybe try "Enchanting a swarm of insects."
That was all, I hope this helped some. I'm really glad you've joined, keep up the great work, and I look forward to reading more from you!
I'm glad u loved the poem. I do want to improve. I tried writing the poem in simple past and past continuous tense. How about this ?
"An array of kaleidoscopic flowers
That swayed on the lemon green grass
Enchanted a swarm of insects
Freely as they pass"
Nice!! I like it! it will work really well.