Good Morning/Afternoon/Evening/Night(whichever one it is in your part of the world),
Hi! I'm Knight Hardy here on a mission to ensure that all works on YWS has at least two reviews. You will probably never see this but....Imma do this anyway.
First Impression: So this was a pretty nice little slasher fic here that we've got. Its definitely got a really nice sense of mystery and the starting point is very good at foreshadowing what comes next. It doesn't really make us sympathize for the characters (if that is what you were going for) because it all feels too perfect to be real.
Anyway let's get right to it,
Wolf island road. Who would have known?
Well that a very interesting choice of opening line. I honestly think that its a pretty poor choice of opening line because it almost feels like its just an extended title...if it as extended title then ignore this...xD
It was a dark silent night all was calm. Not a movement was made. A guy and a girl had just finished their movie date. It was about 11 o’clock. The guy looked at the girl, and she looked at him. It was one of those nights where every thing seemed to be perfect. They were both teenagers and knew that they loved each other. From the first time he saw her he knew she was the one. She felt the same way. They were perfect for each other and nothing would change that.
Well that's an interesting way to phrase an opening but it as least a much better way to open a story, grabbing some attention and also sort of the setting the scene for what is about to follow.
As they walked to the car together, wrapped around each other as if they were holding on for each others life. The boy opened the car door for the girl and she seated herself thanking him in a soft kind voice, then closed the door. He seated himself and they began to drive away.
Well you can definitely see this whole thing is a little too sweet to be true. Realistically this is just a bit too ideal to the point that it almost seems fake and I think maybe that is what you were going for so that's done pretty well.
Only a few moments into the car and she knew she did not want to leave him. She wanted to stay with him and she told him that. He wanted to stay with her till the day he died and he knew he would prove it to her some how.
A few minutes later and he pulled the car over on a quiet road. He looked at her and she looked at him and they began with a soft kiss.
And so it begins. Its still feeling super artificial but at least it does a good job foreshadowing the ending that way.
Time pasted and the girl was still sitting in the car ever since he left not a budge or a noise occurred. Another minute or two pasted and she heard a trickling sound.
Drip…
Drip…
Drip…
That is brutal and very creepy twist there to just build up the tension to what happens next.
A murder occurred that day a boy was beheaded with an old axe and decapitated. The only explanation to this was an old tale one of a never found murder.
And that is a truly chilling ending there that you've got. Its certainly providing a very nice sense of mystery there to end things on.
Aaaaand that's it for this one.
Overall: Overall I liked this piece. Mysterious things like this are always fun to read. Its a bit sad and I am really interested in finding out how the girl appears to have gotten away because it only mentions the boy being decapitated. And the romance bit at the start might need be made just a little but more realistic if you want to give more shock value to what happens later. The way it currently is, the whole thing feels exactly like a setup to a cheesy slasher film (not a bad thing but I don't think that was your intention...correct me if I'm wrong).
As always remember to take what you think was helpful and forget the rest.
Stay Safe
Harry
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Reviews: 4092
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