Published November 17, 2011
Pale skin and eyes closed with
red hair splayed on the pillow, a
fake smile plastered upon her lips,
and her stomach freshly swollen.
Memories behold,
my mothers laugh: a lost lullaby,
my mothers cry: a weeping rose,
all those held dear to my heart.
I watch as her body (devoid of warmth and life) is
lowered into the dry ground
and as my father hands off my
newborn sister to strangers,
a man with a top hat, and
a woman with a bonnet.
We were unable to
care for her, my little innocent sister,
a life without riches is a
life filled with pain.
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140,568 Literary Works • 673,442 Reviews
I love it, and I generally would rather a poem to rhyme. But yours flowed perfectly that I loved it. Keep writing because you're talented!
I'd love to hear more from you.
Sincerely,
Ciara<3
This is a pretty good poem. It flows fairly well with no breaks in the pattern, and the tone is set well. I understand what you are trying to say and your point is very clear. And though this topic has been done before, yours was very well done. It's still close to the usual, and yet still fairly unique. (I'm sorry if you didn't understand that last sentence....) Anyway, it was a well-written poem and I liked your choise of words. Though simple, it worked with the poem and the voice. It sounded as though a young child, too old to be innocent and too young to be taken seriously was speaking. If I am correct, that was your intent.
Beautiful poem. Keep writing!
-Greena
I could feel the sad tone from your poem here.I could see that the writer is confuse about the things happen around him/her,but still the writer cannot do anything to help his/her little sister.
"We were unable to
care for her, my little innocent sister,
a life without riches is a
life filled with pain."
This poem,actually successfully convey the message to the audiences.Good job from you!keep writing.Wish to see more masterpiece from you emmylou.
* (Are you chinese?)seems like..