Composed on a Misty Evening in February

by emmer132010

Published February 17, 2011

Composed on a Misty Evening in February

I cannot see what lies before me,
I cannot see what lies behind.
The lampposts to me are as celestial orbs,
Rising out of the darkness
To guide me through my troubled time.

I see as a blind man sees
The Danger which lurks ahead,
But is as surely there as the
Timid mouse knows the eagle is above him,
Ever-present and unyielding.

And I again turn to faith in these dark hours,
With a knowledge, not hope,
That my Maker is with me.
He is as near as Danger;
Ever-present and unyielding.

Through this consideration
I begin to see my trivial fear as
A mere part of something much greater;
A battle of wills, a war of light,
And my Danger has power no more.

It matters not, my fear and unease,
These are but gusts of wind
To what is the Tempest.
I must be steadfast as is my Father,
For He alone can guide me back home.

Comments & reviews · 2
User avatar
HaydenMacaw
Review
HaydenMacaw wrote a review Review · Feb 17, 2011

Stunning workmanship! I like your use of ambiguity and directional imagery. You flow is disrupted a little in the second stanza, though I love the mouse refrence. On a more personal level, I really appreciated the subject -- I feel like, as our society becomes more politically correct, people become more skiddish of religious subject matter. Your poem was very moving. Cheers!

User avatar
Baywolf
Review
Baywolf wrote a review Review · Feb 17, 2011

Hello Emmer!

February is my birth month, so I was drawn to the title. That and it was really foggy outside this morning. :) So I felt like this poem would be a good read, and I was right. I like the overall theme you have going with your references to God as your Father and Maker. It makes the fog seem more like a spiritual fog that is trying to separate you from your faith. When you take the fog in that context, it makes the poem richer than if you were just talking about the fog outside your house.

I was confused by these lines and I didn't see how they fit into the poem.

But is as surely there as the/Timid mouse knows the eagle is above him,
They just don't make much sense. Read them out loud. Maybe it's just a syntactical thing and the words are out of order or there might need to be a comma or other pause-inducing punctuation to make it make sense.

Other than those two lines, I didn't find anything egregiously wrong with the poem. I enjoyed the read and thank you for it. :)

Happy Writing!
Bailey



History is the version of past events that people have decided to agree upon.
— Napoleon Bonaparte