Published April 8, 2011
Please tell me what you think. ![]()
leather
one of these days i'm going to look at you and your face will have turned to leather
leaving coolness where your skin was warm
one of these days i'm going to talk to you and your voice will have gone away
leaving emptiness and silence in your throat
one of these days i'm going to touch you and you will crumble to the rocky ground
leaving ash where you once stood strong
one of these days i'll look at you and your face will be leather
and your voice will have left your throat
one of these days i'm going to look at you and you will have crumbled to the rocky ground
leaving ash where you once stood strong
Points:
Time spent:
IP address:
Canary word: Present
Possible AI signals:
Original Text:
Are you sure you want to delete this comment? This cannot be undone.
Mark this comment as a review? Points will be awarded to the poster.
Your comment was posted, but it wasn’t long enough to count as a review. Reviews need about four complete sentences (at least 250 characters). Try writing another review that explains your thoughts in more detail — the author will appreciate it, and you’ll earn points for it.
Thanks, guys. I'll edit and see how it turns out--I will keep your advice in mind.
I like the poem a lot, the first stanza is amazing and makes a lot of sense. The second stanza seems like a dumbed down repeat of the first. When I first read it through I expected the last line to twist the second stanza into a different meaning like a lot of poetry does, but when I finished reading it through I realized, no, you just repeated yourself. I honestly don't understand the point of the second stanza, but the first one is great.
This is a type of poem I've never seen before...something that's becoming a more common occurrence for me. I liked the way this was set up. I just have to ask you if the second stanza is necessary?