Pills had been a big part of my life for years. Along with razors,knives,honestly anything sharp. My name is June. And I'm addicted to basically anything not good for me. I used to enjoy riding bikes and going for walks, but now id rather sit and rot in my bed while listening to phobe bridgers. I enjoy the feeling of nothing, it is nice and numb, I find it relaxing and like a jump in the cold pool.its like a startle to new people getting to know me. Or when someone tries to help me and I don't take their offer because I love the feeling of sadness.
Yes sometimes I wonder how'd it feel to be happy and not constantly worry about what I have to do next. Or when I'm going to die or how it's going to happen. My friends have tried to help me. But it feels like a toxic relationship. I don't want to leave this depressive state but it hurts me. I want the attention to know people care but then I feel like an attention seeker. I want people to look at my arms and question if I'm okay. Because am I? Am I okay?
I have issues with my body, people call it body dysmorphia.i hate my body but i still tend to show it off. Why? I don't know I like the attention of knowing other people can enjoy my body. And that it's not as ugly as I think it is. I wear tight shirts to show my curves, but other days I wear long baggy clothes to hide away scars, and the fat rolls lying underneath. My legs are in a nice shape, but they're covered in small dot scars. And my thighs are covered in words I couldn't express at the time. If you ask me now I definitely could explain everything in a descriptive way.
So what's wrong June? Oh you actually wanted me to answer that..Still i cant describe it. It's like a metal knife digging into my sides though. And if I try to talk about it I'll choke up and cry. So when I try to speak about it,that knife moves to my throat and causes excruciating pain.
I guess we’ll never know
-Ella J Childs.
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142,048 Literary Works • 676,461 Reviews
Hey,
Hope you’re doing well. I just stumbled upon your story, and I gotta say, it’s amazing. Your writing is next level, and I kept thinking how awesome it would be as a comic or webtoon.
I’m an artist who does stuff like comics, manga, webtoons, character art, and cover art. I think it’d be crazy not to turn this amazing story into a comic or a webtoon, and I’d love to be commissioned to do it. No pressure at all, but I really think it would look super cool in that format and could grab a lot of attention.
If you want to check out my work or you’re down to chat about it, we can discuss it further on Discord (chloemadisonn) or Instagram (elsaa.uwu).Can’t wait to hear back from you.
Regards,
chloe