Just something I threw together last night while I couldn't sleep. 
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140,177 Literary Works • 673,034 Reviews
this is such a sweet work!
Thank you guys a lot. Again. x)
I suppose that passion really is a good thing in poetry writing, huh?
And rememberme, if I ever get to this place, I'll let you know. xD
THIS IS SO GOOD. I could picture the music, the bursts, the blossoms the bliss. This is so very good and discriptive, your amazing. This is a poem I could really get into,I love the discription and how I could see every vivid detail of what was going on. It also sounds like a spectacular place to be. Take me with you(:
Short review: Beautiful imagery, but I didn't really like this bit:
Not sure how you could improve it, just thought I'd mention it... Anyway, this was quite alright my dear
LOVE. LOVE. LOVE. LOVE. LOVE.
Just sayin. This is amazing. I love it! Obviously (;
-Soggy
Oh my gosh. xD Thank you guys so much! I can't believe I brought tears to somebody's eyes. I had no clue I was that good. xD
Thanks again!
Oh wow! You have a gift! This brought tears to my eyes. This was sooo beautiful! please please please keep writing things like this! I can tell you really got into this. If you write soemthign and enjoy writing it then whoever reads it will enjoy it too for the most part. This is probably the most amazing piece i've seen yet! Really what more can I say? Awesome Job!
Dang, that was really, really, beautiful. This is a great poem and well really I'm not sure there's much that needs fixing. I really loved the dining on music, listening to honey.
I really don't have criticism, constructive or otherwise...Just keep it up!
I did a little tweaking here and there.
Thanks so much! I'm glad you guys liked it. ^-^
Hopefully this won't be so useless. First of all... *LIKES* Secondly...
*DISCLAIMER* This is YOUR poem and you are free to do what you want. Feel free to ignore anything I might say and in this review I meant no offense at all. These are just my opinions, before changing anything you should get a second opinion and primarily... your own.*
I really liked this poem for the main reason that it featured a lot of contradictions. They were well spread so it didn't feel so list like. I might've written that you ought to put more actions in here but you've done that. There is very little - content wise - to consider. Maybe you might want to re-read. A few lines felt a little bit rugged and um... awkward
Although reading on, it felt more natural when re-read.
So apart from content, let me say that you should really consider format. Did you plan this? Poetry doesn't have to be planned, but there's no harm in editting sometimes. If this flowed from you, you might want to edit and make it better. If it's planned, then reconsider your chocies. They're not necessarily bad, but perhaps they could be better in someplaces. Just a few questions you mgiht want to ask yourself:
It's lyrical poetry, it doesn't have to be a set POV. Compare:
and
Also, word choice. Butterflies or bees? Lion or leorpard? Grass or soil? Honey or chocolate? Get my drift?
---- Although these changes are very minute. I hate using 'Change This Word' in poetry reviews. The best it might do is help rhythm in some place. ------
I think finally you might want to create a sub-story for this (Warning: you might be getting too formal here, you might lose the freshness): Are you dying? Is this your dream? Are you being wed? Is this at night from the point of view from a child whose parents are fighting again?
You don't even have to put this in your poem! BUT, if you are considering really editting or re-writing this, then having this backstory in your mind could really change the feel and possibly add feel or else lose it. Meh... editting sucks.
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Thanks for the awesome read,
TheNewHero
So, my review is going to be even more useless.
Sorry in advance.
But I really did like this piece; it has super interesting and original imagery, which can be somewhat difficult to find. I really don't have any constructive criticism for you. Sorry again.
But nicely done!
-Coral-
Gah, I love it, ISH!
Oh, just one line
just think you should reconsider this line.
Pff..whatever. Nothing much to say here except it's good! XD
My fave line was you said the rose petals were more lethal than the thorns. =))))
Sarreh for the stinking review. I just love it. XD And oh, it's past twelve.