Brokenhearted

Some Things That I Found That You May Or May Not Find Notable:

-"Anger fumes in me life a beast," Life? I think you meant 'like a beast' here.

-"And over my sorrows and fame." Why fame? Are you a famous person? Why would you need to say that?

Actual Review:

If I'm honest with myself, I don't think this work describes heartbreak very originally to me. It just sort of grabs all the other poems and hopes the readers can relate. That can work, certainly, but in poetry like this you have to make your heartbreak distinct--you can do this by a number of ways, of course. I prefer describing the subject of my hatred and tearing them apart while somehow still liking them, but other people have taken it to themselves to simply focus on the pain, which looks like your goal here. If that's the case, there's some sort of substance you have to give to make your pain unique, your heartbreak incapacitating. Don't be afraid to be dramatic. In fact, dramatic is preferable. Poets are all overdramatic and probably exaggerating details of the relationship. They're like that one friend you have who cries over every single romantic partner they even have one argument with, but we stick around with them because somehow their misery is almost life-giving, it shows off all their charm and beauty.

In other news, though, I did think it achieved what it set out to do. It was well-written for the most part, and tells the reader that the author is in pain, and thats all it needs to do really. But you can go above and beyond. Make your poem distinct, is what I'm saying here.

Overall, good job, and good luck with the editting.

Signing out,

--EM.

Hey, Pickle, Strange here and I have a quick review to state due to my lack of time to write this.
First of all, 97% of all love is fake. That may be my opinion but I'll live by it. That doesn't mean I don't like this poem. The whole point of love is showing your emotion, which you managed to execute well. You cut off the head perfectly. It shows how someone screwed you over. The whole "never falling in love" is harsh. Good job, Pickle.
Overall, Good job
Strange gives you...
7/10
Good job
Keep writing
Stay groovy, my amigo.


Ploop

Thanks for the tips.. I'll see later if I have time to rewrite it. By the way, I make the rhyming the way it is for a reason, but I'll give you some props for noticing.

I thought this was fantastic! Really emotional. one tip i have is instead of saying MY empty bed, put AN empty bed. My shows ownership which tries to comfort the reader into thinkint they aren't alone. AN empty bed would show complete loneliness. Just a thought. Kind of shows how important one word can be right?

The flow is very well done!! But I can't help but wonder why the rhyme scheme in the first stanza is different from all the other three. You may considerer changing that, which I understand can be difficult to find the right rhyme sometimes. Rhymezone.com usually helps me, but you seem to have an excellent sense of rhyme and what fits. I enjoyed reading this. Keep up the good work and keep writing!