Surreptitious Future

Good Morning/Afternoon/Evening/Night(whichever one it is in your part of the world),

Hi! I'm here to leave a quick review!!

First Impression: Well...this is very much a story of two halves right there...oh wow...it started out as such a beautiful and wholesome story and then everything just ahh...yeah...I have now words...well..more details below.

Anyway let's get right to it,

Human life so complex yet so simple. I was so grateful to be given the opportunity to give birth. The gift of a child. I can literally create life. That’s kinda cool.

From the day I had seen a baby, I so wanted to get married and have babies. And that day did come for me and it was such a great experience that one can never explain. The feeling of a life growing inside you which will be your shield and sword against the treacherous world.

I was awaken by a sudden jerk. Wow, that kid packs of hell of a kid. My husband who was like the second most important person in my life after my baby of course, which would sprout anytime from within me. Even though I hear that delivering a baby is very painful and disgusting. I can surely tolerate that for the sake of the beauty of childbirth.

I am all alone. My womb is like a barren desert with nothing else left that would signify life. It’s filled with all kind of filth and disgust. I was carrying a corpse inside of me for a week and I didn't even know. For a week I was talking to someone who wasn’t even there. A mother never knew that her little child had taken it’s last breath seven ago while I must have been hogging up some delicious food or entertaining myself by doing something productive. A deep ache had spread across my abdomen.

Time had split into two different paths. One, on which I was supposed to be happy with my child and my soulmate, and the one which is now, where my own husband detests me. I shouldn't even be writing this, you see, because I’m not supposed to be here. The longer I continue on this road the angrier and crankier I get, and well, I have no way of going back.

I had become so misanthropic that I was murdering lilies now. Those things spreading all over my house, showing beauty of nature and shit. Well, who bloody cares? I hacked at them viscously. If I am not allowed to reproduce, then neither are you.

Band of marriage broken.

A family destroyed.

I forgot to keep his heart beating.

Hello! Happy September Review Day!
I'm going to just write down any nitpicks I find as I read...

x x x x x x x

From the day I had seen a baby, I so wanted to get married and have babies.
The word 'baby' is a bit repetitive. I suggest you change it to say:
From the day I had seen a baby, I so wanted to get married and have some.

The feeling of a life growing inside you which will be your shield and sword against the treacherous world.
How can the baby be your shield? Or do you mean that it gives you that motherly instinct? It's a nice metaphor, but I suggest you clarify.

Wow, that kid packs of hell of a kid.
I think you mean: Wow, that kid packs a hell of a kick.

Even though I hear that delivering a baby is very painful and disgusting. I can surely tolerate that for the sake of the beauty of childbirth.
Even though I'm not a mother and hopefully won't be any time soon, I can totally relate to this. People say that they won't have any more kids because of the pain; but it would be so worth it.

My womb is like a barren desert with nothing else left that would signify life.
Oh my gods. I can't imagine how this must feel. It's so sad.

The last line. Good writing style, it's just so sad.

I was confused about the line "the feeling of a life growing inside you which will be your shield and sword against the treacherous world."
The sentence of the husband being "like" the second most important person in her life." The like in the sentence needs to be omitted.
I wasn't feeling the usage of the word "sprout". It doesn't work in the sentence.
The 4th Paragraph-It's a complete mess. It doesn't flow from the previous paragraph. "Its last breath seven ago." This doesn't make sense orginally. Although one might realize you're referring to months it needs to be clarified. "While I must have been hogging up some delicious food or entertaining myself doing something productive." Omit this or change it so that it better flows.
"Split into two different "paths"? I'm not feeling this wording.
Her husband "detests" her? This needs to be explained in depth. I ask you, would one's soulmate really feel this way over an accident?
"The angier and crankier I get?" Omit this or change it, I feel it doesn't work in this piece.
Misanthropic-A small description of the word would be helpful to reader.
"Showing beauty of nature and shit." This is honestly not needed.
The sentence above a family destroyed should be omitted.

Feeling(s):
I felt this piece would have worked better in poetry form. It does have it's issues and poetry would work better for it in those instances. As this piece gets more reviews I'm sure you'll understand what I mean. I also felt you really could have made this writing more if only you'd gotten descriptive. Throughout reading this I have so many questions and no answers. You get me?