I have been wandering since a long time now
Companions. Me, and my vagrancy.
None of the travelers are my beloved.
And none of the wandering eyes are clement.
Where do we go now? Me, and my vagrancy.
I was not always a waste, like I'm now.
I also used to be happy and I miss those times.
I was unperturbed. I was free.
In the game of life, it played such a move.
I was blown out and my heart was rekindled.
We burnt my home with the fire. Me, and my vagrancy.
Once I met a maiden.
Her beauty, greater than the setting sun.
My heart spoke to me, that she was my destiny.
Then one day she was lost in time.
And I promised to myself that
We would bring her back. Me, and my vagrancy.
It was my heart, that it had to bear it all.
The things which she had said to me.
Nothing much is now left to say.
It had all drowned, in the ocean of teardrops.
When she had said that, I was now dead for her.
Now we think of her all night. Me, and my vagrancy.
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Canary word: Present
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125,012 Literary Works • 672,842 Reviews
Very cool poem!
The grammar is off-kilter often, but that gives this poem its unique, worn/torn feel, as though the vagrancy has reduced the speaker's sanity. However, it is disconcerting at the start. The imagery was sparse, but I liked what I saw -- for instance, I had never heard the "beauty -> setting sun" comparison before. Stanza and line breaks are not very important here as far as deep significance, but they are kept neat (even the one instance of enjambment) and do the poem a credit.
The story told is interesting, the speaker compelling. Great work, keep writing.
Hmm my curiosity tells me to ask what this was about since some of the words I have never heard of nor know what they mean. But other than that I say amazing it is really descriptive and nearly well put together. I sincerely shall read more of your works once I am free of the homework I must do. Good luck and Happy Writing!!!!
Soulkana<3