Very cool poem!
The grammar is off-kilter often, but that gives this poem its unique, worn/torn feel, as though the vagrancy has reduced the speaker's sanity. However, it is disconcerting at the start. The imagery was sparse, but I liked what I saw -- for instance, I had never heard the "beauty -> setting sun" comparison before. Stanza and line breaks are not very important here as far as deep significance, but they are kept neat (even the one instance of enjambment) and do the poem a credit.
The story told is interesting, the speaker compelling. Great work, keep writing.
Points: 3528
Reviews: 94
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