Published January 12, 2011
I love myself.
I don't care about you.
I'm very mean.
So screw you.
I'm selfless.
I'm wicked.
You better stay away.
Or else you will be baited.
I'm blessed by the devil.
I'm the preacher of evil.
Angels fear me
and the elements obey me.
I will wound you.
I'll make sure you bleed.
I'll slice you open.
I wont stop, even if you plead.
I'll take over your body.
I'll hijack your brain.
I'll make you do things
of which you never dreamt.
I love myself.
I don't care about you.
I'm very mean.
So screw you.
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139,219 Literary Works • 672,513 Reviews
Haha this is actually how I feel right now. Very short, very to the point, and I like it. And I have nothing left to say so Happy January!!!
Hey, Pervy here. Onto the review:
You might be using the word "you" too much in the first and last part. It sounds pretty blunt when you read it out loud.
"and, the elements obey me." No comma needed ^^
"I wont stop even if you plead." Now, this one needs a comma after "stop,"
"I'll make you do things" sounds a bit boring, you could try comparing the person as a puppet in your command.
Don't fret about the "critique", It was pretty good in my opinion ^^.
Sicerely,
The perverted Iguana~