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125,029 Literary Works • 672,781 Reviews
This is simply amazing! There are a few things I would change, like shorten up the lines a bit, but I love it! Keep writing, you have major talent.
Hello again Ehte! Here to review as requested! ^-^ Again, I apologize for making you wait so long for the review.
First of all - I did like this poem, but there were a few things that kept me from loving it as a whole. It had some incredible lines, and then some that sort of took away from the feel of things.
For example, your first line. Eyes blushing? That seemed a little off to me. Eyes don't blush. Now, I know that this is poetry and you were obviously trying to portray some kind of imagery with the line, but all it did was confuse me. I just don't think it was the best choice in words. The last two lines of the first stanza, however, I did really quite like.
Another thing I wanted to point out about the first stanza:
The repetition of 'eyes' there was just unattractive. It ruined the flow of the stanza, and it just... well, after you say eyes once, that should be enough, right? I'd try rephrasing that.
I didn't like the first two lines of the second stanza either - 'don't think about tomorrow, look at what's in store' is just overused. Now, they aren't bad lines or anything, but I have this thing with poems. If some of the lines are strong, I would much rather all of the lines are strong. Those two lines weren't strong, and they were disappointing. The rest of the stanza? Excellent.
I don't have too much to say about the third stanza.
Other than this: I loved those two lines. You had lost my attention with the second stanza (even if the rest of it was good - my attention is just hard to gain back), but here? You nabbed it again.
The last stanza had another line that I wasn't that fond of:
Well, I just didn't really like this - at all. The first line was just a list of nouns - which I just found annoying, and the second line was a weak support. I just didn't like it.
So, in a nutshell - this poem has its ups and downs, as a lot of poems do. It's good, but it could definitely use some touching up.
Keep writing
~~Ish.
I really did enjoy reading this . Its amazing the different ways you can describe a person and the way they may make you feel .
Oh my Gosh this is amazing
You are SOOOO good 
Wow! you express yourself pretty good in writing poetry.. I wish I knew how.. it takes me a while to put my ideas together
and sometimes it causes writer's block. I wish I can write a poem using words that rhyme.
I really like the imagery in this poem. It's like you actually see what is happening when you read it, which is hard to do for a lot of people. Usually I really dislike poems that don't rhyme because, to me, they never seem to have rhythm or flow at all, but this poem was very well written and I liked it very much. I think you should continue with free verse because you are very good at it
P.S. very nice usage of similes in this
Awww, so very sweet! I loved it! Like you, I am a rhyming person, I've never liked anything of my own in this style. However, this is just grand
Woww. Breathtaking, like seriouslyy. :O
Loved it.