Published March 11, 2012
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140,533 Literary Works • 673,403 Reviews
Alrighty, here to review.
First off, great theme. It starts off rather slow, though; the first stanza has some repetition of 'cry', and the wording seems awkward throughout--but if you're just getting back into the game, that's completely understandable..
The main problem I saw was that the flow was off in some places, such as this:
It's a little word-heavy compared to the rest of the lines, which are pretty short. You probably already know this trick, but sometimes it helps if you go through the poem, reading it out loud and pin-pointing the awkward spots.
The last three stanzas are wonderful; definitely not 'meh', in my opinion. The emotion is clear, and I think your voice becomes a little more certain. It's sad, but with a bit of hope at the end...
I didn't see any technical or spelling errors, and I liked it overall.
Keep up the good work!